


Homeless

by Catastrophe641



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abusive Behavior, Adoption, Almost caught in the act, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bad Communication, Birthday Sex, Blowjobs, Car Sex, Cheating, Depression, Dom/sub Undertones, Drowning, Dubious Consent, Eren gets some weird male version of postpartum depression that last way longer than it should, Eren's weird sexjoke/pickup line/innuendo phase in his middle aged years, Fluff, Got to off set some of the terrible things in this fic, Grandparents, Graphic depictions of violence - Freeform, HOMELESS!EREN, Heart Attacks, Homelessness, Homophobia, Homophobic Slurs, Hospitals, I Do Not Condone Any Of The Shitty Things That Happen In This Fic!, Implied Self-Loathing, Jealousy, M/M, Masturbation, Maybe dub con?, Memory Lane, Mentions of mental instability, Mentions of past deaths, Mentions of sex trafficking, Minor death, Mood Swings, More angst, Neglect, Outdoor Sex, Overprotective Levi & Eren, Proposals, Reconciliations, Revenge, Semi-Dysfunctional Romance, Seperation, Sex on a Car, Smut, Therapists, These guys need to see a professional counselor!, Time Skips, Unhealthy Relationship Practices, Very Angry Eren, Weddings, Well Off!Levi, a very angry annie leonhart, adorable little kids - Freeform, air sickness, all the fluff and the heart ache, bad language, bad nightmares, breif mentions of pokemon, character death in a day dream, crazy homophobes, daddy/daughter moments, depiction of freezing to death, descriptions of cpr, domestic life, everything goes to shit!, grandkids, horny old men - Freeform, implied car sex, levi almost causes a car accident, mentions of past relationships - Freeform, mentions of torture, more car sex, none of this is in any particular order, older Levi with glasses, sassy teenagers, self-neglect, shitty pick up lines, sky diving, slight BDSM, story telling, taggin it anyway just in case, teenagers!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-01 15:35:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4025338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catastrophe641/pseuds/Catastrophe641
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s just…as soon as I’m done and you have to go home…I’m right back out there again, begging for spare change in the cold. I never should have followed you in here; it will just make it harder to go back.”</p>
<p>“Who said anything about leaving you out there again?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Homeless

**Author's Note:**

> This fandom needs more Homeless!Eren fics. Ones that get completed.
> 
> That being said, Eren is really only homeless in this first chapter, but still...At least I finished it.
> 
> Will try to keep my updates regular.

Puffs of steamy, white smoke rose from the stack on top of the quaint, little coffee shop that was tucked away between the larger buildings. He’d been watching the puffs rise up, disappearing as they blended in with the grayish, white sky above. He longed to be inside, to feel the warmth from the heater that caused the puffs to rise up in the first place.

He wanted to look happy, like all the patrons who sat at booths, chatting about their day, sipping warm coffee, lattes, and hot chocolate while eating warm morsels of delicious looking food. He wanted the warmth on his skin and the idle chit chat that spurred them on as they went about their day. But no, he could not have this.

Instead he was fated to sit there, shivering from the cold, his stomach aching for food; butt asleep from having sat on the cold ground for so long, his brown hair a mess with dirt and grime; clothes tattered and torn, shoes a size to small, mismatched, and falling apart. The hat on his head barely stopped the brisk wind from ripping at his flesh. His lips blue from the cold and his normally tanned skin nearly as pale as the snow. His face riddled with patchy stubble that refused to grow in and turn into a beard.

Seven months ago he never would have guessed he’d be here. No he would have been one of the well dressed people walking right by the cold, tattered, and worn homeless man on the sidewalk. But fate had a different plan for him. The company he worked for had been forced to lay off several workers. He had been unlucky enough to fall in the group that was fired.

This left him with an apartment that needed to be paid for, a car payment, and the need for a new job and food. His bank account would suffice for only so long, so he had set about trying to find a new job. But the world had changed since he had been hired on at that company. You now needed at least an Associate’s degree to get basically any job, no matter how simple the task. And since he had dropped out of college, not finding it to his liking, and had refused Mikasa and Armin’s help, here he was.

He had tried the local grocery stores, gas stations, and fast food restaurants. All their positions were filled and they were not hiring. He went to apply for the janitor position at several locations only to find they required a college degree. This shocked him. Why was a degree needed to clean toilets and mop floors? Was if truly that difficult to not mix the chemicals and clean up the shit that was left on the toilets? Apparently this new society thought so.

It hadn’t taken long for his money to run out, even after selling his car and furniture. He was finally forced to leave the apartment he had called home for nearly ten years. That had been four months ago. So now he sat there, in his clothes dug out of the garbage can of a suburban home, on a piece of frozen cardboard, hoping a good Samaritan would drop him some change so he could go inside and get something warm.

Person after person walked by him, not even giving a second glance. There were so many of them, the light layer of snow that had fallen in the night crunching under their quick and hurried steps. Few cars passed by on the ice patched road, leaving him a good view of the coffee shop between the legs of passersby.

The day egged on, slowly growing colder, his breath becoming more visible as the sun went behind the building he sat in front of. Hordes of people were now rushing about, eager to return to the warmth of their homes now that the work day was over. He called out, begging them to spare some change. No one paid him any attention. The crowds began to dwindle, the rush coming to an end.

He highly considered packing up and moving to the alley way he now called home. But for the strangest of reasons he stayed a bit longer, watching the puffs as they rose high in the sky, just as they had done all day. He shifted about, trying to get comfortable, though it was a vain effort. When he did his foot hit the empty can that any change he might have gotten would have been stored in.

It clanged, rolling into the middle of the sidewalk a bit. Eren did not see the well dressed man who was coming. He reached for the can as it rolled, only to freeze when a black, polished dress shoe stopped it first. He could see his own reflection in that shoe. A black pants leg hung loosely atop it. He followed the suit up to the well fitted jacket, which was obviously tailored, and on up to the face of the man the shoe belonged to.

Startling, grey eyes met his own, well groomed, black hair atop his head. Soft Asian features on a pale, short business man greeted him with a blank expression. To his surprise the man bent down, picking up the can and holding it out.

“This must be yours.” His voice rang out.

Eren could only nod in reply. He was too shocked to do others wise. He carefully took the can from the kind man, giving a small smile. He returned to his place on the cardboard, looking over at the coffee shop once more with longing. The man remained there, following Eren’s gaze across the street.

“Would you like something?” His voice came again.

Eren was confused and quite taken aback. Had he just offered to buy him food?

“Would you like something from the café?” He asked again.

He didn’t wish to take advantage of someone who seemed so nice. All he wanted was some spare change so as to save up and get it himself.

“No thank you.” But his stomach gave him away by rumbling loudly.

“I think you would like it very much. Come on.” He held out his hand to help him up.

Eren took it timidly. What if this was all some sick joke? Lure the poor, homeless man into the nice shop and then make a fool out of him. He didn’t want that to happen. But the man seemed friendly enough and the look of genuine concern in his eyes was hard to get past. That emotion could be hard to fake for someone who was not a professional actor. So in the hope that things would be okay, he let himself trust the man and followed him to the café.

The bell rang out as they passed through the door, all eyes suddenly shifting to him as everyone grew quiet. The man continued over to a booth in the far corner, hanging his jacket on the back of the chair. Eren made his way over as well, stopping in front of the booth, half expecting the man to spout some snarky comment about how he didn’t know him or for him to get away. But no such thing ever came.

Instead the man looked up at him in confusion.

“Have a seat then.” He said softly, pointing to the other side of the small booth.

Eren slid into the seat, eyes darting about, but never making eye contact with anyone. He could hear them whispering now, talking about him, how disgusting he looked, how he didn’t belong in a place like this. It made him nervous, so he fiddled with his fingers under the table. A waitress came over, asking for their order. He kept quiet, not wanting to draw any more attention to himself.

When he didn’t speak up the man ordered for him. He looked at his feet, not wanting to talk, and just let the warmth of the room soak into his bones. He could feel his limbs again as the numbness went away.

“My name’s Levi.” He attempted to start a conversation.

“Eren.” He whispered back.

The waitress soon returned with what Levi had ordered. She sat down a steaming, hot cup of hot chocolate, a bowl of hot soup, a small plate of warm croissants, what looked like some kind of grilled chicken, and a slice of fresh, hot apple pie. Eren could feel himself drooling as he took in the food before him. The waitress set a single cup of hot tea in front of Levi.

“Eat up.” He took a careful sip from his cup.

Eren looked at all the food. Surely it wasn’t all for him. He was sure he could eat it all, but still, this was too much.

“What about you?”

“I got this for you, Eren, now please, eat.” He insisted.

He didn’t need to be told twice. He dove into the food, trying his best to use some form of manners, but he hadn’t eaten like this in months. It felt like for once the heavens were smiling upon him. The only way this could get better was if Levi offered him a job and a place to stay, but he wasn’t going to say anything. Levi had already done far more for him than anyone else had cared to do.

“So, Eren, what did you do before…you know?”

“I worked for a publishing company. I just filed things and put them away, but it paid well enough. Then there were cut backs. My boss was forced to downsize and I fell into the group of people that had to be let go.”

Eren continued to eat, the soup warming him to the bone. The feeling of it was soothing, calming. It made him forget his worries; forget the conditions he lived in. It was a home like warmth, one that made him comfortable. He glanced at the window, seeing the snow falling.

Oh no…he suddenly remembered. He was homeless. This small patch of heaven wouldn’t last forever. As soon as he was done and Levi needed to go, he would be back out there on that piece of cardboard in the cold, once more watching the puffs of steam rise from the top of the café.

He slowed his bites, the depression sinking back in. Levi noticed, a frown forming on his face, eyebrows furrowing.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“It’s just…as soon as I’m done and you have to go home…I’m right back out there again, begging for spare change in the cold. I never should have followed you in here; it will just make it harder to go back.”

“Who said anything about leaving you go out there again?”

He looked up at Levi, staring into his eyes. Whatever was hidden behind them he couldn’t read. Levi was a mystery to him; so different from the rest of the world that passed by him each day. He was grateful for his kindness. He just didn’t understand it.

It was like staring at a woman in a harem. Veiled and obscure, you don’t know what to expect when the veil comes off. But you get subtle hints if you look carefully enough. And in the end the veil comes off to reveal something that you might never have expected, or maybe you had figured it all out by then.

Eren felt this way, unsure of what lied behind the veil that Levi had up, unsure of his motives. What did he have to gain from helping Eren? What if he was a killer? Eren supposed that death would be better than having to face the cold again though. He finished off the last of his meal, feeling very warm and thoroughly filled.

“Shall we go?” Levi asked.

He mulled it over. He didn’t have many options. The falling snow caught his eye once more, making him turn to the window. It was coming down rather quickly now. The temperature would be dropping lower very soon. That was what made up his mind for him.

“Yes.” A new confidence in his voice.

No way was he going back to the cold streets. He watched as Levi put his jacket back on and went to pay the bill. Eren picked himself up, having second thoughts. But he needed this. So as Levi paused at the door, waiting for him, he took a deep breath and followed willingly.


	2. How Can I Thank You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m supposed to be doing this to you, not the other way around. You’ve helped me; this is my only way of showing my thanks right now.”
> 
> “Letting me do this is more than enough thanks, Eren. Just relax and enjoy yourself. I’ll find equal pleasure in it too. I promise.”

With the snow falling Levi walked fast, causing Eren to have trouble keeping up. He was glad that Levi’s place wasn’t too far away; just a few blocks from the café, right out of the main mess of traffic and downtown buildings, on the edge of a gated suburb. It was a tall apartment building, reaching up into the sky. It was quite the impressive sight, though far different from what Eren had once lived in.

The doorman held the door for them, bowing a simple greeting. Levi struck up a small conversation with him, asking about his family. The genuine concern that his eyes held made Eren feel much better about agreeing to come with him. It seemed Levi was truly a caring person, though he might not look it, who wished to help anyone however he could.

When he had been assured of the doorman’s family’s well being, they made their way to the elevator. Eren was shocked when Levi keyed in a code allowing access to the penthouse on the top floor. Levi must have had far more money than he had assumed. The elevator ride was quite uneventful and surprisingly short, given the buildings height.

The bell dinged, doors opening to reveal a large, modernly furnished apartment. It was spacious and inviting, unlike anything Eren had seen in a long time.

“Make yourself at home.” Levi said before disappearing to what Eren assumed was his bedroom.

He slid his shoes off, not wanting to dirty the floor with the filth of them, and dusted himself off as best he could before taking a seat on the couch. It was cozy, soft, warm; things he hadn’t felt in so long. His eyelids felt heavy. For once he felt safe. He felt himself lying down on the soft cushions, slowly drifting off into a deep, comforting sleep.

Levi came back into the room and was about to speak up, when he saw Eren asleep on his couch. He had changed from his business suit into something more casual, sweats and a long sleeve shirt. Had Eren been awake he would have found it strangely attractive, but odd looking on someone who seemed so rich and well refined.

Levi silently went over to him, careful not to wake him. He looked so peaceful and that made his lips tilt upward. Careful not to rouse him too much, Levi set about getting Eren out of some of the ragged layers of clothes he wore. A jacket, several sweaters, and a coat came off along with three extra pairs of socks and two extra pairs of pants that he had somehow managed to cram onto himself. Levi didn’t know how he had managed to move about.

He slid his arms under the sleeping man, picking him up bridal style, and carefully took him to the other bedroom. He laid him down gently, watching as he curled up, snuggling into the pillows, and placed the sheets carefully over his sleeping figure. He would need a bath and fresh clothes when he woke up, so Levi set about getting him something to wear.

__________________

The smell of clean linen surrounded him, filling his nostrils as he breathed in deeply. He stretched, tangling himself into the covers. Where was he? What was going on? He panicked slightly, not realizing it hadn’t been a dream. He took in the room when he calmed down.

A large window looking out at the city, framed by dark curtains that were offset from the white walls, stood to his left. To his right was a door that appeared to go into a large, pristine bathroom. There was a closet next to the door and the door to the rest of the apartment was in front of him. He noticed something on the bedside table. It was a note. So it hadn’t been a dream. He reached over, reading it carefully.

_Eren, you’ll find the bathroom to your right. Feel free to clean up. There is soap, shampoo, a razor; everything you need should be there. There are clothes in the closet now. You looked about the size of an old roommate who left some things behind, so I put some of it in there for you. I ran to the store but make yourself at home. Feel free to explore and get used to the place. –Levi_

Wow, Levi was serious about this. He looked over at the bathroom. A bath sounded really nice, but he didn’t know how long Levi had been gone, so a shower would have to do. He untangled himself and headed in.

He didn’t realize how nasty he really was until he stepped in front of the mirror. He looked disgusting; no wonder people had avoided him. He looked away, horrified at the sight of himself. He stripped down, throwing his old clothes into the trash can and hopefully his old life with them.

The water was instantly warm when he turned on the faucet. It was refreshing, relaxing even, to feel the water run through his hair and down his bare skin. It was a sensation he hadn’t experienced in such a long time. He watched as the dirt swirled around in the water before disappearing down the drain. He scrubbed up well, not wanting there to be any grime left when he got out. He just wanted to wash everything associated with that time in his life away and hope he never ended up back there.

He stepped out of the shower feeling like a new man, towel wrapped around his waist. His reflection wasn’t so disturbing now and he realized how weird his facial hair was. He had always had trouble growing it out, but now that he’d had no choice, it looked…uneven and scraggly. It had to go.

A few short minutes later, he was clean shaven and looking more like a human being than a sick animal’s butt. He ran a hand through his hair…it was way too long, coming nearly to his shoulders. He opened up the drawers, finally finding a pair of scissors. He cut away at it until it was at a preferable length, coming down to about his ears. It was still a bit long, but it would do for now.

Now that it was clean he could fling it about in a light, fluffy way. It gave him some more confidence. He was looking half way attractive again. He tightened the towel around his waist and headed into the room after cleaning up the mess of hair he had scattered around on the cabinet. He slid the closet door open amazed by the clothes that hung inside. He looked through finding a pair of jeans and a random v-neck shirt. It wasn’t perfect but it would do.

He laid them out on the bed and was about to take off his towel when he heard the door creak. He turned to stare into the eyes of his host. Levi wasn’t taken aback by the mostly naked man who stood there. Although he’d thought Eren was still asleep, it didn’t bother him that he was wrong. However, when he went to speak, he found he couldn’t. He could not peel his eyes off of Eren’s bare chest; it was all he had to look away.

Eren was shocked, a blush gracing his cheeks as he realized Levi was staring at him. He turned away, trying not to think about it. He heard the door close and turned to make sure he was gone. Sure enough Levi had left the room. He let out a relieved breath and let the towel fall. He slid on the jeans, not caring that Levi had forgotten to bring him any boxers, and zipped them quickly. He tugged on the shirt, adjusting it and getting used to the feel of the clean fabric against his soft, clean skin.

His bare feet padded along on the floor as he exited the room; still a bit embarrassed by the way Levi had caught him. He looked up, seeing Levi in the kitchen making tea. At least that’s what it looked like. He took a seat on one of the stools by the breakfast bar. It really was quite the impressive apartment.

“So…you must get paid well.” Eren broke the silence.

“Well enough.” Levi didn’t look up.

“Look…about what happened,” Eren started.

“It was nothing. I should have knocked.” Levi interrupted.

Was he blushing? Eren couldn’t quite tell because he was partly turned away from him. He had the strangest feeling that he was though. Knowing he had that effect on someone was a boost to his ego. What was Levi doing to him? First a confidence boost, then an ego boost, his whole world was being turned upside down, but for once in a good way.

Levi finished with the tea, sliding a cup over to Eren and taking a seat next to him at the bar.

“I talked to my boss,” Levi said lightly. “He’d like to meet you.”

“What?”

“You said you used to file things and my company needs someone who is good at that. I called my boss and let him know that I might know someone to fill the position, but that he didn’t have a degree. He said fuck degrees; just bring him in if he’s interested.”

Eren looked at him, not knowing what to say.

“So…are you interested?” Levi took a sip of tea, eyes not leaving Eren.

Eren really didn’t know what to say. His expression was one of shock, disbelief.

“I overstepped didn’t I.” Levi mumbled. “I’m terribly sorry. I just wanted to help.”

Eren could see the disappointment in Levi’s eyes, but it wasn’t because Eren hadn’t said anything, it was because Levi thought he had failed to help Eren properly.

“No…It’s fine. I just don’t know what to say. No one has been this nice to me in a long time. I just can’t believe that you are doing so much for me. I mean I barely know you, but you act like we’ve known each other for years.”

Levi looked up at him, a small but warm smile on his face. Eren had made him feel better.

“I would really like to meet your boss and see about getting a job. It would at least be a start at getting back on my own two feet.” Eren smiled.

“Well, that settles it then. You’ll go in with me and meet him on Monday.”

Eren leaned forward wrapping him in a hug. He stiffened at first but relaxed into it, returning with a small one of his own. He could feel Eren’s body shaking, that’s when he realized that he had started to cry. He pulled him back, looking at his face, seeing the tears as they fell, sliding down his cheeks. He wiped them away, knowing that they were tears of joy and not sadness, because Eren had the biggest, brightest grin on his face.

It warmed his heart to know he had made him feel that way, but it was still shocking when Eren suddenly leaned forward, lips pressing firmly against his own. It wasn’t forceful, if anything it was simply heat of the moment. Eren was so grateful he didn’t know exactly how to show it, so he was doing so in the first way that came to mind.

They barely knew each other, but Levi had already done far more for him than anyone had in months. He couldn’t help but feel the need to give him something in return, to repay his debt and show his gratitude. When Levi didn’t kiss back, he removed his lip, pushing himself back up and blushing furiously, embarrassed by his actions. He hoped that Levi didn’t freak out and refuse to help him. What if he was homophobic? He might have just fucked up.

But the smirk that played across Levi’s lips reassured him that all was well. In fact, it was Levi who now moved, snaking a hand up his thigh, the other moving to his neck, pulling him in for another, more passionate kiss. As their lips moved in sync Eren lost himself, no longer realizing that Levi has pulled him closer still, a hand wrapped tightly around his waist.

He was left out of breathe and wanting more when Levi suddenly pulled away. He was panting, heart racing, craving his touch. Levi just smirked wider, sweeping him into his arms in a bridal hold. Eren wrapped his arms around Levi’s neck, holding tightly as he was kissed again while being taken to the nearest bedroom.

Levi set him down gently, admiring the way he looked in the jeans and shirt. He especially liked the way the jeans hung on his hips, the pants being a bit too big for his withered figure. Levi now towered over him, lust filling his eyes. Eren took the first step, pulling his shirt off over his head. He heard Levi inhale sharply at the sight of his skin. It had somewhat taken back on its natural color after he had warmed up and washed away the grime. When he had finished removing his shirt he looked back to Levi’s eyes, seeing how dilated his pupils were.

Levi leaned down, pinning Eren arms to either side of his head, roughly kissing him. Eren could feel himself growing, and equally so he could feel that Levi was ready to be released as their hips ground together. He longed to be able to touch Levi’s skin, to be released from his grip so he could run his fingers freely over him. But Levi refused to let go. He did, however, remove himself completely from Eren’s frame.

Levi then leaned in again, but lower this time, going for the zipper on his jeans. Eren then remembered that he didn’t have on any boxers; Levi had never given him any. So as the zipper was drug slowly down after the button had been popped, Eren felt the heat rise in his cheeks. He knew he had to be beet red by the time Levi had finished and his pants had been tugged down.

The look on Levi’s face was priceless. He had been expecting another layer of fabric underneath, but was pleasantly surprised to not find it. It would just speed things along.

“Tell me now if this isn’t what you want.” He said.

“I want this.” Eren replied breathily, begging to be touched.

Levi obliged, wrapping his slim fingers around the firm length before him, eliciting satisfied moans from his guest. Eren stopped him, remembering what the whole purpose of this had been.

“I’m supposed to be doing this to you, not the other way around. You’ve helped me; this is my only way of showing my thanks right now.”

“Letting me do this is more than enough thanks, Eren. Just relax and enjoy yourself. I’ll find equal pleasure in it too. I promise.”

Eren leaned back, having been mostly reassured that this would make Levi more than happy. He felt slim fingers wrap around him once more, pumping slowly. His heart raced; it had been a long time since he had been held, touched in this way. It was much needed.

He gasped when something warm and wet touched his tip. He looked down to find Levi taking him into his mouth. The sight of it was erotic beyond belief. He let his hands move to Levi’s hair, grasping it tightly in his fists, not wanting to be too forceful, but wanting him to take all of him at the same time.

As if reading his mind, Levi took him further, eventually reaching the back of his throat. Eren couldn’t peel his eyes from the sight. He was eating this up. He could feel the pressure within him rising, his skin heating, body becoming over sensitive to the touch as the blood rushed about, his body heating up and turning him a light shade of pink. He was so close, so very, very close, and then Levi stopped, again.

He was beginning to wonder what game was being played here. But when Levi opened up the bedside table drawer to pull out a bottle of lube, he no longer needed to wonder, he knew. Levi sauntered back around to the foot of the bed, placing himself between Eren’s legs. He tugged the Eren’s body so his ass sat just on the edge, his legs dangling to the floor.

Eren watched as Levi slowly removed his pants, taking his boxers with them, in one swift, fluid motion. His eyes widened as they fell upon Levi’s erect member. He gulped a bit at the size, fearing it wouldn’t fit. Levi could see the look in his eyes and reassured him that he would stretch. He still wasn’t convinced, but continued to watch as Levi lubed up.

He tried not to think about it, laying his head back down and relaxing. He tensed and shivered though when he felt a cold liquid being applied to his hole. There was no doubting what that was. He looked back up at Levi, wondering why he still had on his shirt. He wanted to see him, to touch him. But as he reached up to do just that, his hand was harshly slapped away. A look of fear was hidden in Levi’s eyes.

Eren didn’t ask. Whatever it was that Levi hid, held more pain than he cared to talk about in that moment. Levi soon seemed unfazed though, continuing on with the task at hand.

“Relax.” Levi murmured.

Eren did his best to obey, breathes evening out, muscles going slack. It all happened so fast. Hardly had he felt the sharp pain of it when Levi had thrust into him for the third time. Relentless was the best way to describe Levi’s actions. He pounded away, taking in every cry that escaped Eren’s lips as though it was nothing more than sheer pleasure.

Eren was in pain. So long had it been since he had engaged in any sexual activity that his body had readjusted itself. But he stretched out, adjusting to the size of Levi as he pounded away, his cries became moans, which in turn became breathy pants for more. He begged Levi to go faster, harder. And Levi did just that, finally hitting that one spot, deep within him.

He cried out at the shock and ecstasy of the moment. Never did he want it to end; he wanted it to continue on, to forever be in the arms of this man. Levi slowed his thrusts, taking Eren in his hand once more, pumping in time with each motion of his hips. They were both close now, the pressure rising, building, threatening to explode.

They came together, crying out each other’s names. Eren was grasping the bed sheets tightly, trying to ride out his orgasm. Levi finished and collapsed to the floor, dragging Eren with him, and in turn the covers came as well. They lay there, coming down from their high, their moment of absolute bliss, bodies covered by the sheets that had fallen.

“Not bad.” Levi panted.

Eren nuzzled himself closer.

“Thank you.” He whispered. “For everything.”

“My pleasure, Eren.”

“Mine as well.” He said, giving him a passionate kiss.

The two men fell asleep on the floor, wrapped around one another, spent from the exertion of their activities. Outside the snow continued to fall, the sun setting, leaving behind trails of pink and purple. It had been a beautiful day, filled with beautiful things. And now at the end of it, Eren could say that he no longer felt alone. He felt loved, like he belonged, and he never wanted to lose that again.

 


	3. Author's Note: Important

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Important information regarding this story. Please read it even though it is a bit lengthy.

I was originally just going to post a bit of an explanation in the notes at the beginning of the next chapter, but an anonymous commenter (who has now chosen, based on their last comment, to not continue with this fic) got me a bit fired up, so you get this instead. I will not be posting the next chapter for a day or so, this way anyone who has chosen to read this fic so far, and anyone who chooses to start reading it now can get an idea of what they are in for should they choose to continue reading past this point. I need to be sure people understand a few things.

There are going to be things that happen within this story that have more to them than I have written. Things that happen because of thought processes due to past events which I don't include.

If anyone ever feels the need to be clarified on something that has happened, please let me know. Point it out specifically in a comment or if you leave a comment with your thoughts - feelings - opinions on a certain thing that took place, you might find me responding to it at the beginning of the next chapter or I might include another one of these little information filled author’s notes, which will be followed by a short period of time where the next chapter doesn’t appear for a day or two.

If you aren’t comfortable with commenting, you can message me on my Tumblr if you would prefer that. I’m Catastrophe641 there as well.

That being said, this anonymous person commented on the last chapter about how Levi didn’t prepare Eren properly for the sex they had. I’m not condoning this, that isn’t how sex should be for anyone. Always make sure your partner is properly prepared and comfortable. Don’t be that asshole. But let me try to explain a few things.

Without spoiling anything too much:

Levi’s a man with a troubled past (this should be obvious if you know anything about the manga/anime), who’s still trying to get over it. The next chapter actually touches on his past and the issues he had because of it.

Eren is a young man who has been on his own, homeless for about four months, because he was too stubborn to let his friends help him when he lost his job and pushed them away. Levi helps Eren for one reason, and it isn’t really a good reason. If you look for it, this is in the next chapter as well, but you might have to look closely.

The two’s romantic relationship mostly forms around the fact that Eren is extremely grateful that Levi took him in. That’s no way to form a romantic attachment. It’s troublesome and causes problems, which we will see come into play throughout the story. This isn’t the way to do things either; just because someone helps you doesn’t mean you owe them shit. _Don’t stick around assholes who think you do owe them for every little thing, and please don’t be that asshole who expects others to owe you for things you have done for them._

Moving on though:

In Levi’s mind, as he knows the ways of the streets because of his past; people who are homeless or in a bad situation tend to take drastic measures to get money. He’s seen it all before. In his mind, Eren shouldn’t need more than lube because he’s been having sex all along without it; he stereotypes him based on his own experiences with people in similar situations. Basically, Levi has a shitty thought process.

He’s obviously wrong and since they don’t **communicate** about it, neither of them stops it from happening: Levi, because he believes Eren doesn’t need anything more, and Eren, because he feels like he owes Levi. Communication is fucking key people! Use your damn words!

Levi’s obviously not worried about his assumption that Eren was basically a prostitute, as he doesn’t use a condom, or it could just be that he got caught up in the moment, maybe he doesn’t have any on hand, but that is more on the irrelevant side of details.

Either way, you’d think Levi would be concerned with catching something. However, this Levi doesn’t always think things through; he’s as human as the next guy; he makes mistakes, he screws up, he does stupid things that he ultimately regrets later, he lets his passions - emotions - feelings get in the way of logically looking at a situation. He, to an extent, has Eren’s consent to go through with it.

Eren’s shitty thought process: I have to bear with it, because I owe him.

Levi’s shitty thought process: Who am I to turn the young man down?

They are both idiots, people.

They build a semi-dysfunctional relationship, based off of a bad reason that Levi has for even bothering with Eren and Eren’s longing for connections he has lost, and they are both too stupid to do anything other than make it work, no matter the cost.

This is their semi-dysfunctional story.

Not everyone is going to see the dysfunctional aspect to this story if they just read it without truly reading it; that’s why I am making myself available to clarify anything that might seem unclear.

I am actually encouraging you to contact me about things, because I know that there is stuff that takes place in this that you need more context than I have given. I can’t fit everything into a single work. If I did, it would be outrageously long and the story itself would get bogged down by details that don’t go with the main plot line.

So please, either take it for what it is or let me know that you need clarification.

I will try to be understanding of any emotions that this story triggers in you, but I am easily riled up myself. So you might be careful with your wording if you do comment. I do want you to consider a few things before you go on a tangent if something really gets to you:

1\. This is a work of fiction. It involves fictional characters in a modern setting.

2\. This work does not condone any of the terrible actions that may take place in it.

3\. This is my work; I can do what I want with it. (I mean this in the nicest way possible.)

And one final thing before this ends:

I have never been the best at tagging things. I do try to be thorough, but I know that I mess up at times. If you catch something I missed, be it a trigger or anything else important, please let me know. I want to make sure the tags accurately give people an idea of what to expect. As you might see I have added some new ones already, mostly for safety’s sake.


	4. Oh, How The Past Does Haunt Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why don’t you let me touch you or see your upper body?”
> 
> Levi froze, face going more blank than ever before, but Eren could see the pain in his eyes.

He slid the last file into place, closing the filing cabinet drawer. He had just finished the last stack of documents. He stretched his weary body. It had been over a month since Levi had offered him the job and…well, they’d had their little bit of fun. He’d put back on some weight as well. It felt nice to be clean and well dressed.

He glanced down at himself. A pair of shiny shoes, some grey slacks, a black leather belt, and a fine, pressed white shirt, all provided by Levi. He looked nice, even earning a few stares from the ladies in the building. But he just smiled a knowing smile. They’d never guess that he was being fucked by Levi, who as it turned out was the executive just under the companies C.E.O. Never did they seem to think him gay.

It was refreshing to not be ignored, though he found himself helping out his old street buddies when he could. Levi would always smile at him as he dropped off a coat, or a few hundred bucks. He could afford to do that now.

He looked at the clock. It was time to leave. His grin widened. Levi would be waiting for him out front. He grabbed his jacket, rushing out after turning off the light. He didn’t want to keep his lover waiting. As he rushed down the hall, he couldn’t help but remember how it had felt coming in for that interview.

__________________

He sat in the chair outside the office, fidgeting with his fingers. He was a mess. What if they didn’t like him? What if he got Levi in trouble for not being good enough for the position? So many questions ran through his head. He really wanted this job. No, he _needed_ this job. If he was ever to get back on his feet and be able to live life, he needed this job.

He looked up, seeing the blurred figure of Levi and beyond him the blurred figure of his boss. They’d been discussing how his interview went for quite a while now. He could faintly hear Levi raise his voice now and again. He had a bad feeling rush through him each time he heard that. He didn’t want to cost Levi his job.

He glanced over at the secretary. She was sitting behind the sleek, metal desk, her stilettos just visible underneath the edge. He wondered when that had become the fashion trend for secretaries. Last he recalled they wore shorter heels, ones more comfortable. Obviously he’d been out of the game for a while.

The door opened slowly, Levi stepped out. Eren immediately rose, a worried look on his face, body tense. He gulped, trying to keep his nerves from making him shake uncontrollably. Levi side stepped, revealing his boss.

The man Levi worked for was a tall, well-built man. His blonde hair was slicked back just so and he smelled of fancy cologne. But he obviously knew what he was doing. He was running the company after all.

The tall man approached him, extending a hand to shake. Eren looked at his hand, not sure what to do. The man laughed, a deep sound that resonated in his chest. Eren looked back up at him.

“Welcome to the team, son.” The smooth voice of the man explained.

He couldn’t believe it. He got the job. Levi had helped him get the job. He quickly took the man’s hand, shaking it wildly. He could barely contain his excitement. A large grin was set on his face. He didn’t want it to go away.

__________________

As always Levi was perched by the front entrance, waiting patiently for Eren to arrive. He glanced up just in time to see the lanky, boyish figure step out of the elevator. His mood visibly brightened at seeing him, a smile creeping onto his face.

“Ready to go?” Eren asked, as he walked up.

“Ready when you are, bright-eyes.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why not?” Levi asked, “It’s cute.”

The last part was whispered, only meant for Eren’s ears. He watched as his lover blushed, cheeks brightening. He laughed it off, heading for the door. They exited into the crowd of people that swarmed the streets, trying to get to their homes. It was the perfect setting to steal a secret moment together.

Eren felt his fingers close around Levi’s, smiling to himself at the contact. Levi just smirked, glancing sideways at him. He squeezed the cold hand that had grasped his own, eliciting a small squeak from his partner. They stayed that way all the way home.

___________________

The apartment was warm, the perfect temperature to escape the February weather. Yes, it was February already. It was hard for Eren to believe that just a short time before Christmas was when he’d first met Levi. Actually the holiday had been quite lovely.

That’s when Levi had bought him an entire wardrobe. He’d been quite shocked by the kind gesture. Well, in all honesty everything Levi had done for him over the last month or so had shocked him. It would just take some adjusting to the kindness before it stopped shocking him. It was also when Eren had first met Levi’s close friend, Hanji, and had discovered that Levi shared his birthday with Christmas.

No sooner had he taken off his coat than Levi had him pressed up against the wall, assaulting his neck with heated kisses. He felt his clothes being removed, shirt unbuttoned and slid off of his shoulders. He had learned by now that Levi had some issue with taking his shirt off. He never asked, for fear of what it might be.

But through it all, Levi had refused to take his shirt off during sex and refused to shower with him as well. But now they’d been lovers for over a month. He knew it was something that bothered his partner, but he had a right to know. It couldn’t possibly be that bad. He wouldn’t love him any less for some physical impurity.

So as Levi reached to pull his own pants down, he couldn’t help but ask.

“Why don’t you let me touch you or see your upper body?”

Levi froze, face going more blank than ever before, but Eren could see the pain in his eyes.

“I’m going to take a shower.” Levi whispered, quickly turning to leave.

“I’ll join you.”

“No. Leave it alone, Eren. Please.” Eren could hear the terror in his voice.

“I deserve to know what you’re hiding from me.” Eren whined.

Levi continued to stay facing away from him. Eren wasn’t sure, but it sounded like he was fighting back tears.

“You really want to know?”

“Yes.”

“Fine.” Levi said through gritted teeth.

He reached up, removing his tie, before setting in on the buttons of his shirt. He had turned to face Eren again. He removed his white shirt, revealing the tight undershirt he wore beneath. He pulled it off over his head and Eren was confounded. He was beautiful.

Pale skin defined by toned abs and strong muscular arms, each one flexing as he moved, it all flooded Eren’s vision. He didn’t understand what Levi was so afraid of. He was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. But pain was still in his eyes, those beautiful grey eyes. Eren opened his mouth to speak, that’s when Levi turned around.

He gasped, eyes going wide, not sure how to feel about the sight before him. Levi’s back was riddled with scars. The skin still looked raw, as though the wounds were fresh. It looked so painful.

“Are you happy now?” Levi sobbed, tears clearly falling down his face.

Eren didn’t know what to say. Judging by the look that was on Levi’s face, he was assuming Eren thought he was disgusting. He quickly left the room, leaving Eren alone and unsure of what to do. He couldn’t just keep standing there. He needed Levi to know that this didn’t change anything, that he loved him regardless. But he still wanted answers. He wanted to know who or what had caused the damage to his back.

So he found himself slipping quietly into the bedroom Levi had disappeared into. It pained him to see his lover curled up on the bed, sobs racking his body. He felt tears begin to brim his own eyes. He walked over to the bed, sitting down next to the sobbing figure.

“How…What happened?” He winced as the question left his lips.

He half expected Levi to slap him; maybe even kick him out. It wouldn’t have surprised him if he took back everything he’d given him and thrown him back onto the street. He had no real right to keep pushing, to dig deeper and obviously bring up painful memories. But he was pleasantly surprised when Levi instead opened up.

“I…I only have myself to blame.” Levi stammered, wiping his nose on the sheets.

“Why? What happened?”

“I had a rough start in life. No dad, mom died early, shitty uncle. It was my fault I ended up in the situation I did. I shouldn’t have been there, shouldn’t have gotten involved with the people I had at such a young age. I could have stayed at the foster home, but I ran instead. It cost me dearly. I lost my friends, the closest people I had to family at the time, and it left me with these scars. These constant reminders of my own failure and loss.”

Eren was truly speechless. This was not what he had expected. A car accident or maybe some traumatic war experience, yes, but not bad life choices.

“I was used to bad fights that would turn worse before I realized it,” He continued, “and my back always took the worst of the blows. But then I was actually taken in long term by one of the groups I was fighting with on the streets. They decided to torture me as punishment for everything I had done to fuck up their drug business. I fell unconscious after the third blow, so I don’t remember much of it. But when I woke up, the pain was all too real and then they told me that Isabel and Farlan were, that the people who had captured me had done them in...I didn’t even get to go to their funerals.”

“I was in a hospital for weeks. Once I was physically stable enough to be released from the hospital, I was charged as a juvenile, a minor, for a murder I didn’t commit. The lawyer I was appointed got me off on the insanity plea. A couple of years of extensive therapy and parole and I was free again.”

“But I felt guilty for not being able to have done anything right all those years ago and fell into a deep depression. My therapist set me on a path of helping people, donating to charity, good deeds, finding a way to make myself happy through helping others. That’s what's gotten me to this point in time. I never thought I’d meet someone like you; someone who made me feel alive again; who made me feel something more than sadness and despair. But I didn’t want to ruin it; I didn’t want to lose you because of how ugly I really am. I can’t lose you, Eren. I can’t live without you.”

He was full on crying now. Eren leaned down, pulling him into a hug, careful not to touch his back, knowing he wasn’t ready for that yet. Tears were falling from his eyes now. He didn’t understand how someone so seemingly perfect in his eyes could have been so broken, so shattered, at one point in his life.

Levi grasped him desperately, hanging on for dear life. Eren carefully positioned his hands on the back of Levi's neck, pulling him in for a kiss filled with more passion than either of them had ever experienced before. And as the two lovers shared their intimate moment, a new door opened in Levi's life. One that would lead him down a road filled with happiness like he'd never known; a happiness that he could forever share with Eren.

 


	5. How Far We've Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Everything that’s happened since this day last year. So much has happened…all because of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we had a question in the comments of the last chapter. I responded directly to it, but for those who don’t read comments, this is the question and my answer:
> 
> Do you use lovers as a term for a couple or fuck buddies? I can’t tell.
> 
> I kind of use it both ways. This is because in Eren's eyes, he and Levi are a couple from the start, so lover is a term for couple in his case. But for Levi, most of the time the word is used in reference to a fuck buddy. This will change over time and we see the change in the way he views the relationship in this chapter.
> 
> And as a side note: The time line for this story kind of jumps around from here on out. So be prepared for major time jumps!

Nearly a year had passed since Levi had opened up to him completely. It didn’t feel like it had been that long, but winter had come and gone, making way for spring. The flowers blooming, painting the city parks in a rainbow of colors. The trees had greened back out, grass was growing again, and the complete hustle and bustle of the city had returned.

It wasn’t long before the birds made their way back, perching on the electric lines and trees, their melodious tunes floating through the air, hanging on the breeze that blew through the city streets. Eren and Levi had spent many afternoons in the park. They’d find a secluded bench on the nature trail and cuddle close, stealing chaste kisses that would soon turn heated.

It had been that same spring when Levi had taken him on a picnic to the coast. The water was still too cool to swim in, but the sight was spectacular. The sun glinting off the waves as it began to set, the hues of pink, purple, and orange reflecting off the crystal blue of the ocean. It had been one of the most romantic evenings Eren could remember having since he’d met Levi. It had been the first time he had considered reconnecting with Mikasa and Armin. But he never did, thinking that it would be better to let them live their lives without him.

Of course, besides a few stray thoughts on Eren’s part, the night had quickly turned steamy as the sun set and “dessert” was broken out. It definitely took up a grand place in Eren’s mind. They had managed to stay warm despite the chill that night had brought on. Though the next morning was a bit uncomfortable; he had sand in places he had never even known existed and Levi had complained the entire way to the nearest shower.

The summer had brought with it warmer days, some that turned to hot, but never scorching. Levi in turn bought him clothing more appropriate for the warmer weather. Shorts of every color now laid folded in his portion of their shared dresser. Short sleeve shirts hung up in the closet and sandals were set out along the bottom.

They went to the beach multiple times over the course of the summer. Seeing Levi in swim trunks, knowing he had nothing on underneath, had been quite the experience the first few times. It had resulted in Levi showing him the secluded little place that few others knew of. They would emerge later, knees covered in sand and hair a mess.

It had to be obvious what they’d been doing. It was all so fun and he felt so loved though. Back home, in the apartment, Levi would freely walk around without his shirt on now. Eren was allowed to touch him, to feel him, to have him in every way. He watched as the look in Levi’s eyes as they fucked changed. He paid little attention to the fact that Levi’s vocabulary about sex changed either. It was no longer _Let me fuck you_ , but instead _Let me make love to you_.

And as summer drew to its close, autumn taking its place, Levi and Eren would cuddle up by the large window that overlooked the city in the evenings. He loved to watch the car lights speed by down below, to see the city begin to illuminate itself as the darkness draped itself over the tall buildings. He always fell asleep in Levi’s embrace. His strong arms would wrap around him, holding him tightly, the warmth spreading through him, calming him. Levi would always carefully lift him, laying him softly in the bed, before climbing in himself to cuddle up next to his sleeping lover.

Waking up on those mornings, when the autumn chill was setting in, a hand wrapped tightly around his waist, a hand that belong to his lover, was more than he could ever have wished for. Feeling the rise and fall of the other man’s chest as he breathed softly, each breath tickling his neck, made him feel more at home each time.

As the weather cooled, the birds slowly made their way south. Leaves turned shades of orange, yellow, and brown, falling to the ground and piling up, crunching under quickened footsteps. He recalled one afternoon when they’d gone to the park.

The lawn crew had just finished raking the loose leaves up into several large piles. Having wandered off before they bagged them up, the leaves were left piled up around the area. They walked hand in hand, laughter echoing away from them, down the path. He watched as Levi’s eyes sparkled when he saw the leaf piles.

Levi promptly recounted an old memory where he had fun jumping into and rolling about in the leaf piles with Farlan and Isabel. He had said it was a rare moment, one where all the pressures of their world had seemed to disappear and they had been at peace for a simple moment in time. That was what had given Eren the idea in the first place. He had quickly pulled Levi behind him toward the large pile. But as they neared the pile, Levi wiggled free.

Eren stopped short looking back at him. Levi just looked confused. He hadn’t realized what Eren was doing yet. So when his wrists were grabbed by his childish lover and he was quickly jerked forward, it caught him off guard enough that he fell forward into the leaves along with Eren. They tossed about for a while, wild, childish laughter emitting from them.

When the pile had been thoroughly trampled they got up. Levi gave a big, bright smile before breathily saying, “Race ya!” He promptly took off for the next pile, leaving Eren behind. Eren had raced after him, catching up just in time to wrap around him as they fell into the leaves.

It had been a fun filled afternoon that ended with them being chased from the park like two hooligan teenagers by the lawn crew. They had arrived back at the apartment out of breath and sweaty. The only thing left to do was take a nice, hot shower. And hot it was…when he got down on his knees.

But as is with all things, the leaves soon disappeared and the harsh cold settled over the city. Eren stood in the window after a long day at the office. He had gotten several promotions since Levi had gotten him the job. He was now the director of the records department. It was a higher paying desk job that he was happy with. A great accomplishment for someone without a degree.

He watched the small, white flakes fall from the sky, painting the city in a sparkling layer of snow. As they fell his mind drifted back to that piece of cardboard, the one where it had all began. It was a year to the day, the anniversary of Levi finding him. It was also what Levi was calling their one year anniversary of being in a relationship.

He watched as puffs of smoky steam rose up from the roof of the buildings across from him. It was just like the puffs that had risen from the top of the café he had sat across from. The same café Levi had taken him to that first day. But watching the cold snow fall made him shiver as he remembered how it felt to sit there, the snow falling on him, chilling him to the bone, the people passing by, not caring that he was cold and hungry.

Warm arms wrapped around his waist bringing him back from the brink of that retched place. Soft lips pressed against the back of his neck making him moan. Levi could always bring him back from his wild thoughts.

“You ok?” That silky, smooth voice filled his ear.

“Yeah…just thinking.” Eren replied.

“Yeah…what were you thinking about?”

“Everything that’s happened since this day last year. So much has happened…all because of you.”

“You’re welcome.” He whispered into Eren’s ear.

Eren turned around in his arms, a smile on his face as he leaned in to kiss his boyfriend.

“I got offered the promotion today.” Levi said.

“What? That’s great!”

“But the position isn’t here. It’s in California.” Levi’s voice dropped.

“California…oh.”

“And I don’t know that I can get you a position at the office since I’m not familiar with the people there.”

“You should take it.” Eren knew what this meant.

This meant they’d be separated, placed into a long distance relationship. There was no guarantee it would work out after that. Levi would likely find someone else to make him happy. Even after a year, Eren could tell when it was time to let go.

“You want me to take it? You’re okay with the strain that will put on our relationship?” Levi was surprised.

“You’ve worked hard for this position. You deserve it.” Eren was going to be strong.

He couldn’t cry, not in front of Levi. He couldn’t show weakness now. Levi had been talking about getting this promotion for months. He wanted it more than anything else in his work life. And if it made him happy, Eren was going to let him have it, despite what might happen to them. That’s what you did for those you loved; you made sacrifices, even if they hurt you. At least that’s what everyone had always told him.

“I’ll be making more than what both of us make together right now. I can provide for us both if you come with me. I know it won’t be the same and you might not have a job, but in reality, you won’t need one. I can give you everything you want or need. You can be my stay at home lover.” Levi suggested.

“You want me to give up my job and move to California with you? I love you, Levi, but I’m gonna need something more than that to quit my job. I trust you, I really do, but with everything I’ve been through and this job being stable, I don’t think I can risk it.” Eren was on the verge of crying now.

He hated having to do this to Levi. He didn’t want to lose him. But he had been hurt too much in the past, been through too much. Levi had to understand that.

“I had a feeling you’d say that. Come with me.” Levi took his hand, pulling him along.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” A mischievous, yet nervous grin played across his lips.

Eren was led to the other room where Levi had him sit on the couch. He watched carefully as his lover wiped his hands nervously on his pants. Eren was quite curious now. He’d never seen Levi in such a state. It almost worried him.

But as he opened his mouth to speak, he watched Levi drop down to one knee in front of him. The implications where staggering. He’d have fallen down if he’d been standing up.

“Eren, I want you to come with me. I love you, more than anything else in this world. I need you. You’re what keeps me together, what keeps me hanging on. You are my life, my love, my hopes and dreams all in one.”

A small box was brought out of his pocket making Eren’s eyes go wide. This was happening. This was fucking happening!

“Marry me, Eren.” A simple silver ring sat inside.

There was an engraving on the outer edge. It read: _Bury the past and move on to a new tomorrow._ That phrase held so much meaning. It was something they had both had to convince the other of at one point or another. Now Levi was trying to tell him that the past didn’t matter anymore; that they both needed to move forward, together, and start anew.

Tears slid down his cheeks as he stared at the silver band, reading the phrase over and over. Levi wanted him no matter what. They could be together. It was foolish of him to think it all had to end. He gasped for breath trying to hold back the sobs that threatened to escape.

“It’s not even legal here, yet.” He croaked.

“Eren…It is in California. Come with me and then we can get married.”

“Yes.” He whispered, but Levi didn’t hear him.

“Well?”

“God, yes!” Eren lurched into Levi’s arms.

He let his fingers knot in raven hair, placing lips firmly against his own. Levi pulled back only long enough to place the ring on Eren’s left ring finger before the heated kiss was resumed. Soon enough Eren’s legs were wrapped tight around Levi’s waist as he was hoisted up and carried off to their bedroom for the most passionate night of his life. 


	6. Beginnings & Endings & Beginning Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just feel like there’s something missing.” He looked over at Levi frantically. “I don’t mean that you aren’t more than enough, I just…I can’t explain it very well. I do get lonely at home all alone sometimes. I guess…what I’m trying to say is…I want kids, Levi. And I know it’s still early in our relationship, but please, just consider it.”

The waves gently crashed against the beach, pieces of seaweed and sticks washed up on the shore. A stray seagull called in the distance as Eren watched the sun that was high over head glint off the waves. A cool breeze blew through his hair, pushing the wet strands into clumps on his forehead. He squished the wet sand between his toes and looked down to admire the rings on his finger.

There was his engagement ring, with the inscription, but now it was joined by a second band. This one was silver as well, with another inscription on the inside. When he took it off if read: _When you are with me, I am free._

It was Levi’s way of letting him know that he had set him free from his past, but it was also a reminder that Levi had set him free as well. He looked back up, seeing the silhouette of his handsome husband as he emerged from the ocean’s depths. He couldn’t help but smile at his shirtless figure. Levi didn’t even feel the need to wear a shirt when swimming anymore and they’d only been married for six months.

It was amazing how quickly it had all happened. Seven months ago was when they’d gotten moved. Levi had bought a house, a nice beach side house, rather than an apartment. A month later they were married. It was a small ceremony, just a few close friends and family members, where Eren had taken Levi’s last name as his own. But it had been beautiful either way. And it had only been made better by the fact that Levi had found and contacted his old friends and invited them without his knowledge. He was glad to have them back in his life, even if it was through a computer screen now that he was on the other side of the country.

The move had been easy and quick, which had let them get married sooner than originally planned. Of course Eren’s days were now spent around the house. He’d taken cooking classes. Originally it had just been something to do other than mope around all day waiting for Levi to come home or constantly bothering his reunited friends with text messages, but he had found he quite liked cooking.

So he had taken on a bit of a house wife persona. He’d cook dinner and breakfast and even pack a lunch for Levi if he knew ahead of time that it would be a busy day at the office. His knack for cleaning and laundry had greatly improved. The house was generally spotless, something Levi seemed to love him even more for. Taking on a house wife roll gave him greater pleasure in the end than he expected.

Of course it helped when Levi came home and always noticed the hard work he had put into the house. They still needed to decorate a bit and Levi had agreed to let Eren do what he wished with the place. The smile that had pulled at his mouth when Levi said that was incredible. Interior decorating was something he had taken an interest in, after all.

But right now they were taking a break from making the house a home. That’s why they were on their own section of the beach, letting the waves toss them about. Eren sat on the beach now because he was tired and felt like a raisin. But relaxing in the sun was good enough for him. He liked the way it warmed him up.

Levi would get mad if he stayed in it too long though. His husband hated it when he got sun burnt. Something about how it risked tanning his beautiful skin even more. Eren had trouble getting darker though, but Levi didn’t know that. So sometimes he’d purposefully get a light burn just so Levi would have to rub the cool, Aloe Vera gel on him.

He enjoyed the way it let his husband’s strong hands glide over his skin. It was also an excuse to get a nice massage. Normally he’d be content just the way it was, but lately even with Levi spending more time with him on the weekends, things just didn’t seem to make him as happy. It was like something was missing. Like there was a hole in his life that needed to be filled.

Levi reached the beach, shaking the water off. He walked over to sit next to Eren, placing a quick kiss on his cheek. It didn’t take him long to realize that something was bothering Eren. And when Eren wasn’t happy, neither was Levi.

“What’s wrong?”

Eren looked over at Levi, a small smile on his lips. “I’m fine.”

“Something is obviously bothering you, Eren. Please tell me what it is?” He scooted closer, pulling Eren into his arms.

“I just feel like there’s something missing.” He looked over at Levi frantically. “I don’t mean that you aren’t more than enough, I just…I can’t explain it very well. I do get lonely at home all alone sometimes. I guess…what I’m trying to say is…I want kids, Levi. And I know it’s still early in our relationship, but please, just consider it.”

“Eren you act like I don’t want kids too. Whatever would give you that idea?”

“I just thought…I don’t know.”

“Eren, I love you and if you want kids then that’s great. Look, I never really thought about it much, but having kids sounds nice. Honestly, as long as I get to do it with you I could care less what it is.”

“Really?” He looked up at Levi with a new found longing.

“Really.” Levi pulled him in for one last kiss before they went in to shower.

____________________

“So all you need to do is sign on the dotted line and everything will be in order.” The lady from the adoption service said cheerfully.

It had been several months since Eren had first thrown the idea of kids out there to Levi. They’d both ended up agreeing that it would be best to adopt while they still had the energy to raise a little rascal, rather than wait until they were too tired and busy with life to properly do it.

So now they sat here, signing the final paperwork that put them on the list to adopt. It was quite possibly the most exciting thing since their wedding over a year ago. All that was left to do was wait for the right child. Not that Eren was picky; any young one would do, as long as it loved him and Levi unconditionally.

So the papers where quickly signed and sent in to be filed.

____________________

“Right this way, gentlemen.” The same lady said ten months later.

She was leading them to the maternity ward so they could look through the glass and gaze upon the beautiful little girl they would get to take home in a few days. It felt like his heart was going to burst through his chest. He was so excited, but nervous, so he let his hand slide into Levi’s as they walked, squeezing it tightly for reassurance.

They had met the young teen and seen a picture of the man who was the father several months before. In fact they were paying her medical bills. She was a scared, young girl with her whole life ahead of her. She just wasn’t ready for the responsibility that a simple error in judgment at a late night party was shoving on her.

She was a petite girl, only five foot four, but she had a thick head of brown hair and tanned skin like Eren and facial features like Levi. The baby daddy, from what they could see in the picture, had a head of messy, black hair, stood at about six foot four, and was pale skinned. It meant the little girl would be similar in appearance to her father’s when she grew up and that had given a new level of excitement to the two men when they had first met the young girl.

And now as they drew nearer to the ward Eren almost couldn’t contain his emotions. He didn’t know what was going on with him right now. Maybe it was the wife-like roll that he had taken on; maybe it was making him emotional. He just desperately wanted this.

The lady finally stopped, gesturing to the large window that was in the wall. He moved closer to Levi, who wrapped an arm gently around him, pulling him into his side as they moved to look in. Inside there were several carts, each with a colored blanket and a small newborn inside. Nurses carefully maneuvered through attending to each child.

“Let me go ask which one is yours.” She said, before going around the corner to the nurse’s station.

Eren was shaking with anticipation. He could feel tears in his eyes as he stood there, the man he loved holding him close. Levi, in an attempt to calm his nervous husband, placed a series of loving kisses on his cheek, breathing in the smell of his soap.

“Calm down.” He whispered, placing another kiss but this time on his neck.

“I can’t.” Eren whispered back.

The lady was coming back now, but something was off. Her expression was sad, almost grim. She wasn’t walking with the peppy stride she had earlier. No, now she slouched, almost as though she was dreading coming back over to talk to the two of them. Eren could sense this and when she stopped in front of them, he held his breath.

“I’m so sorry. I should have called to check in before I asked you to meet me here.” She said sadly.

“What’s wrong?” Levi asked, pulling Eren closer to his side.

“The young girl was in good health, but the umbilical cord was wrapped around the child’s neck when it was born. The doctors got it cut off quickly and they thought everything would be fine, but…” She stopped, looking away and at the floor.

“But what?” Eren choked, voice cracking.

“The child suffered some brain damage…She didn’t make it. The part of the brain that controls the regulation of oxygen into the blood stream was too severely damaged. She wasn’t getting the oxygen to her body that she needed. ”

Eren felt it all cave in. His knees gave out and if Levi hadn’t already been holding him he would have collapsed. Tears of joy that had once pricked his eyes turned to sorrow and anguish as they spilled out, falling to the floor like rain. Levi stayed strong, lifting him up, bidding the lady farewell, and carried his heartbroken husband to the car.

The drive home was silent save for Eren’s sobs. And when they arrived back home Levi carried him once more into the house, laying him gently on the bed and helping him undress. He then stripped to his boxers and lay down beside his sobbing husband, pulling him close and trying to calm him. But things would never be the same and Levi knew that.

__________________

Days turned into weeks and into months, Eren slowly slipping into a depression where Levi couldn’t reach him. He watched as his beautiful husband would mope about, dragging his feet, always wearing pajamas, hair a mess, and unshowered most of the time. He was slowly dying on the inside and Levi couldn’t do anything about it.

Every time he tried to approach Eren he received a blank stare that held no emotion, and if he reached out to try and touch him he received only rage. It amazed him how Eren could lash out so harshly. It was a side he’d never seen of his other half and he hoped to never see again once this was worked out.

For you see Levi had a plan. It had been a good seven months since the little girl they were supposed to adopt had passed on. Levi thought surely he could make an attempt at filling the hole it had left in Eren’s heart. That’s why he had contacted the same lady at the adoption service. That’s why he had to make Eren get cleaned up today and get in the car with him.

So he set about forcing Eren into the bathroom. It took some doing and he would have several bruises by the bath’s end, he just hoped it was worth it. A heated argument finally led to more pushing and shoving before he got Eren into the car, where he simply huffed and crossed his arms angrily over his chest, a pout on his face as he stared out the window away from Levi. He would thank him later.

__________________

“Eren, get out of the car.” Levi pleaded.

But Eren wasn’t interested. He had turned away from Levi who stood in the open door on the verge of exasperation. He hadn’t wanted to leave the house in the first place, why would Levi think he’d easily leave the car too?

“Eren, please. This is important.” Levi had nearly had enough.

And when Eren just sat there, nose in the air, facing away from him still, he finally gave up. He threw his hands in the air in defeat and sighed heavily.

“Fine, don’t come meet our daughter then.” He closed the door and headed for the entrance to the building.

Eren’s mind was reeling now. Had he said _daughter_? What had Levi done? What was going on? He looked over at the building for the first time and took in the sign on the front. This was the adoption agency they’d signed up with. Levi had been talking to them without him?

He looked at the short figure of his husband as he paused by the door, looking back to see if Eren had decided to be human for a bit. He could clearly see Eren’s shocked expression that morphed into pure joy and glee as their eyes met. He couldn’t help but smile himself as he watched his husband struggle to get out of the car without falling and race to his current location.

“We have a daughter?” Eren asked, panting.

“She’s waiting inside.” Levi smiled at him, lacing their fingers together and giving his love a quick kiss.

Inside the same lady waited for them with a bright smile.

“I’m so glad things are working out for the two of you. Follow me please.” She headed off down a hallway.

The two eagerly followed her, Eren once again a bundle of nerves and emotions, just like last time. But this time he wouldn’t get his heart broken. Levi had made sure of that. This little girl had been checked out thoroughly and was perfectly healthy. They slowed by a closed door at the end of the hall.

“Let me just check to see if she’s asleep or awake and then we’ll go in.” The lady said brightly.

She carefully disappeared through the door. A short time later she ushered them in. The room was simple, but outfitted with everything a little girl could possibly need.

“Now she’s five months old, a little older than when we first talked, but she’s in good health and in need of a good family. I know you sounded very enthusiastic and excited about getting to meet her to see if she meshed well with the both of you. So I’ll leave you here with Sarah, the attendant, and you can get to know her better. Just knock on the door when you’re ready. I’ll be right outside.” She left them alone with Sarah.

Sarah sat across the room, a pink blanket bundled in her arms. Eren looked at her, his eyes betraying his nerves.

“Would you like to see her? She just got done with her lunch.” Sarah cooed.

“Yes.” Eren nodded furiously.

Sarah adjusted the blanket, letting it fall and set down a small girl on the floor, placing a rattle in her tiny hand. Eren watched as the small child wiggled and kicked, small bubbles of saliva forming around her lips. She made those wonderful noises only babies make and her eyes darted around the room in wonder.

She was adorable. Chubby little cheeks, legs, and arms; a head of short, but thick, brown hair; blue eyes; pale skin that was flawless and soft. Eren couldn’t look away. His heart was swelling, the hole being filled and he wanted to hold that precious little girl in his arms forever.

He carefully moved from Levi’s side, lowering himself to the floor by the little girl. He tentatively reached out, the girl’s eyes landing on his face and smiling brightly up at him, nose squishing cutely as the smile reached her eyes. She gooed and gawed at him, laughing in delight at his happy face.

Levi watched on with love in his eyes. His husband was back. This was the Eren he knew and loved, the one he’d married. It made everything worthwhile to see him in that moment; to see the joy on his face, the love in his eyes. He watched as the little girl reached out and grabbed Eren’s fingers, pulling them to her mouth to chew on them.

Eren let out a delightful squeal, his smile growing even bigger. Levi moved over, sitting next to them. The little girl looked at Levi too, her eyes sparkling brightly as she seemingly pointed at him.

“She wants to play with her other daddy.” Eren said.

Levi watched as Sarah rose, “I’ll get Becca. She’ll get the paperwork.”

Levi extended a hand and placed it in the tiny fingers of their soon to be daughter. She squeezed tight, making a joyful noise. Eren looked at Levi, their eyes meeting. There were tears in his eyes and he could see tears in Levi’s too. They were gonna be a family, gonna have a family together. He leaned over and placed a loving kiss on his husband’s lips.

“This is perfect.” He whispered.

“I’m glad you’re back.” Levi smiled brightly.

The two giggled for the first time in months as Becca came through the door with a clipboard.

“Really all there is for you to do is sign a couple of things and give her a name.”

They looked at each other. The Eren looked back at the little girl going on the floor, happily slobbering on a toy.

“Carla…Carla Isabella Ackerman.” Eren said as he looked lovingly into Levi’s eyes.

“I’ll get the car seat ready.” Levi said, leaving the room.

“Congratulations on becoming a father.” Becca said cheerfully.

Nothing could have been better than that moment.


	7. This House Is Falling Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What did I do wrong?”
> 
> “That’s what you did wrong. You never knew what you did.”

Levi stood there, watching as the car drove away. The evening sun reflected off the back glass, making it impossible for him to see the frantically waving hand of the young girl in the back seat. He was out of breath, hand stretched out toward the vehicle, begging it to come back, to turn around so he could work things out with the driver.

But it kept going, finally turning a corner down the road and disappearing from sight. He felt the lump in his throat grow, lungs constricting, not wanting to let the first of many sobs come out. He wasn’t thinking straight, couldn’t seem to remember what had made it all come to this.

And for some reason it felt like if he could, if he could just pull the memory of where it all began, pull the memories of all the events that led to this moment out of the dark, it would all change. Those lost memories held the truth, the only way to get them back. It wasn’t over and it wouldn’t end like this. He wouldn’t let it end this way.

They’d been through so much, become so happy…there had to be something else to the story than a disastrous and broken ending for them. His life could not be just a series of bad endings. So he tried, scanned the depths of his mind for any trace of what might tell him why. But his mind was fuzzy, everything blurred together in a mixture of combined emotions and flashes of things past.

He dropped to his knees, deep breathes being taken to try and calm himself. He just needed to relax and think. He would find the truth he sought. He would find the answers. He would fix this. He would get Eren and Carla back, no matter what. He just needed to think…

_______________

He rolled over, hand gliding across the sheet where his husband should have been. His hand darted around, making sure that his significant other wasn’t just lying on the edge of the bed, about to fall off. Strangely though, he found only the chill on the sheets that had not felt bodily warmth in quite some time.

He let his eyes flutter open, coming to rest on the empty side of the bed. That was strange. Eren was always in bed with him. He pushed himself up, resting on his arms and looked at the clock on the bedside table.

_2:15 a.m._

That’s when he heard the floor boards creak down the hall. The bedroom door was ajar. He knew where Eren was. He pushed himself up farther, legs swinging over the side of the bed, toes coming to rest on the cold, wooden floor. He stretched, mouth opening wide to let out a yawn, then lightly stepped to make his way to the nursery.

He peeked in the half open door. Eren was in the pink room, rocking back and forth softly in the rocking chair, a little bundle of joy in his arms. She was seven months old now, little Carla was. Now she was cuddled tight in Eren’s arms as he rocked her gently. She must have woken up, crying out, and in turn waken Eren from his sleep through the monitor.

He almost thought Eren was asleep, but as he looked closer he could see the small slits where his eyes were indeed open. Dark bags sat under those eyes, the ones that were usually so bright and cheerful. But tonight he could see the irritation etched onto his face.

He moved to come in, pushing the door slightly to allow more space. The door squeaked loudly as it opened, continuing to move freely. The squeak continued on, Levi wincing as it grew louder. Eren’s eyes flew open wide, gaze centering on the door before landing on Levi. There was an anger, a heat, in that look that Levi didn’t like.

Just then little Carla began to squirm, mouth opening wide as a cry boomed through the room. Eren stood up quickly, shifting his hold on her and rocking her softly as he paced around the room. His motions were jerky, irritated in nature. Levi feared he might hurt their daughter. He stepped forward, offering to take her and try to get her back to sleep.

“Just go.” Eren hissed, jaw set tight and teeth clenched.

Levi backed out like a dog with its tail between its legs. He had messed up. He made his way back to bed, the cries of the little one echoing down the hall. He lay down, listening carefully, his heart sinking. He stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours, waiting for the crying to stop and Eren to return to bed.

The cries still rang out, but his eye lids were getting heavy. He didn’t remember when, but at some point the calls stopped. Except he believed it was because he fell asleep. Eren still wasn’t there the next morning.

But even though his husband wasn’t there he distinctly remembers getting up to go about his day. Out of bed, straight to the shower, down the stairs, but there was no breakfast ready. Actually, there was no Eren either. He thought for a moment, glancing back at the stairs. Surely he wasn’t still in the nursery?

He climbed them carefully, finding the door to the pink room still open from last night. He hadn’t even looked inside when he passed by the first time, but sure enough, there inside, still in the rocker, was Eren. Carla still in his arms, held tightly as he rocked back and forth. The bags under his eyes had grown darker, eyes appearing glazed over and dull.

When was the last time Eren had slept? He knew that Carla had been waking up a lot lately, but was it really that bad? Had he managed to not notice how unhappy and tired his husband was? He stepped in, the floor creaking, making Eren look up at him.

He was met by that same angry glare. He watched as Eren’s lips moved, trying to tell him something without waking their sleeping child. Confusion slid onto his face. He had no idea what Eren was trying to say. It was obvious that Eren was getting fed up with him. The same irritation from last night was back on his face.

“GET OUT!” He boomed, instantly regretting it as Carla began to scream again.

Eren tried to lift himself from the chair but was too tired to move. His lack of sleep was finally biting him in the ass. Levi looked on not knowing what to say or do. Then he had an idea.

“Let me call in sick, so I can take care of her and you can rest.” He said over the unhappy cries.

“You wouldn’t even know what to do!” Eren yelled back.

“I can do this, let me do this!” Levi yelled back.

“No! You don’t know anything about her! You’re always at work! Always away! When was the last time you changed her diaper!? When was the last time you offered to put her to sleep!? You might be my husband but you are not her father!” Eren screamed, finally standing up to place the screaming child in her play pen.

Somehow he had found the strength and energy. Or maybe it was just his rage.

“Eren….What are you saying?! Can you even hear yourself right now?!”

“I know perfectly well what I’m saying, Levi! Now just go!”

He didn’t want to stick around and have a screaming match with Eren, but he sure as hell didn’t want to leave him like this. He didn’t know what to do. But the pain he felt over the harsh words that had been spoken was enough to make up his mind. He needed some space. That’s why he walked away and went about his work day.

_______________

That was when it started, what began the whole collapse; a single argument that led to harsh words and a bad decision. Really that was all it ever took to tear everything apart. But it had gotten worse from there.

Sleep deprived Eren became his worst enemy. Being yelled at over nothing and everything became normal. Levi dreaded going home. Every moment in that house sapped him of his energy and life.

And when the arguments didn’t stem from Levi trying to be a part of his daughter’s life, it was something unsaid that he had apparently done to offend his husband. It was as simple as a look that Eren claimed held a deeper, hostile meaning.

Eren became convinced that he was plotting against him, trying to take Carla from him. It was hard to watch as Eren slowly became distant. It wasn’t all at once, but took place over the next couple of years. He watched from a distance as Carla grew; her brown hair growing out to her shoulders, little legs and arms stretching out, allowing her to come up to about his knees.

Her blue eyes so bright and filled with wonder. He watched as she began to crawl, then staggered and walked, and finally figured out how to stay steady enough to bolt off, forcing her daddy to chase after her. He would watch as Eren’s eyes would light up with joy, but the instant they landed on him that joy would dissipate and the heat would return.

When he bought Carla a doll house for Christmas, after her third birthday, Eren was furious with him. She had loved it more than the other gifts and since it was from Levi, Eren hated it. He saw it as his way of trying to buy their daughter’s affections, to make her love him more so it would be that much easier to take her away from him.

They’d argued about that too. Christmas night they had fought over presents. Carla had looked on not sure why they were fighting. He hated this fighting, hated the way it made his husband look at him. It had been nearly three years of it by now. He wondered how much more they could endure.

If Eren did decide to leave, where would he go? He had few friends left from his old life and his parents had long since passed on. He wasn’t close with any of his distant family in Germany, was he? Levi wasn’t sure who he had been talking too since the fighting started. It worried him actually. He didn’t want to see this all fall apart.

______________

Carla jumped onto the bed, waking him up. He giggled lightly, rolling over to grab her. She was talking pretty well and had just finished up her potty training a few months before. Boy was she loving the new big girl status it gave her.

“Wake up dad!” She giggled. “Daddy says we goin’ on a twip!”

A trip? What? This was news. He sat up, watching as she plopped down on her butt and slid off. Eren was in the doorway. He let out a heavy breath. He hadn’t planned on telling him.

“A trip huh?” Levi held back the pain. “Where too?”

“It’s a supwise!” She was jumping with excitement.

“Sounds like fun.” He was truly hurt. “But…I can’t go sweetie. I have work.”

“Aw! But dad….”

“Hey…No buts. You be good for daddy now, okay?” He interrupted her.

“Ok.” She pouted, lower lip sticking out in the cutest way.

Eren was looking impatient; a bit shocked that he was just gonna let her go, too. But Levi realized that there was nothing he could do, nothing that wouldn’t make it hell for all three of them in the end at least. He wasn’t going to do that. He loved them too much to put them through that.

“Come on Carla. We don’t want to be late.” He put his hand out for her.

She ran over grasping it tightly and turned to leave.

“Eren!” Levi called out.

He turned back toward him then bent down to Carla’s level.

“Why don’t you go make sure you have all your toys? Dad and I need to talk for a second.”

“Ok!” She ran off to her room.

“What?” Eren asked.

“Where you gonna tell me?”

“No.” He whispered.

“I’m sorry…for whatever I did to make this happen.” He almost sobbed.

“Don’t.” Eren said. “You’ll make it harder for us all.”

“Will I ever see you again?”

“Not likely…at least, not until the divorce court.” He clenched his fists.

“What did I do wrong?”

“That’s what you did wrong. You never knew what you did.”

“Please don’t go.” He begged, hoping Eren would reconsider.

“I’m seeing someone else.” He never even turned back around.

“What?”

“I’ve been seeing them for a few months now. They treat me well, respect me…love me.”

Levi couldn’t breathe. This was the ultimate betrayal. His husband had cheated on him. True he should have seen it coming, but he had tried to hold onto that last piece of hope. Hope that everything could be fixed, restored. Now it felt like it was gone.

“Good bye, Levi.” He walked out the door.

______________

And that’s why he was here, on his knees outside their house…No, his house, sobbing his eyes out, wishing for the way it had been. He had given Eren everything, trusted him with all his heart. Now it just felt like Eren had ripped it out, drug it through the dirt, put it through a shredder, flushed it down the toilet, stomped on it when it came out of the pipe work, and then done it all over again.

So many questions ran through his head, but one stood out above the rest. Who was the other man? Who was Eren seeing?

______________

A month, that’s how long they’d been gone. It hurt more than he realized, worse than he had expected. But eventually he just felt numb inside, void of all emotions, his tears long since emptied from his eyes. It was sunny outside, the opposite of what it felt like inside of him.

He stepped out the door anyway, warm rays falling on his exposed skin, barely breaking through the chill that had wrapped itself around him. He felt cold, like a corpse, rotting from the inside out. All the life had been taken from him when Eren left. He had nothing left to live for now. His eyes had sunken in, hair a mess, skin lighter than it normally was. He looked sickly, like walking death.

That’s what made the young woman jump as he turned from locking the door. She was standing too close and suddenly seeing the saddening sight not only shocked her but scared her too. Levi took her in with dull eyes that no longer held their excitement and love for life. He had sunken back into that long forgotten hole of self loathing he had dug himself into as a teen. It clearly showed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you where there.” He took her in.

Blonde locks that were pulled back into a ponytail; perfectly pink lips, parted slightly for breath intake; about Levi’s height; dressed in shorts that were too short and a tank top that showed too much cleavage. Tattoos ran along her body, up and down her arms, over her neck, and down to her ankles. Bright, blue eyes sparkled in the sun light and a tilt of the head revealed a small, glinting stud in her nose.

“No, I shouldn’t have been so close.” Her bland voice rang out.

“Can I help you?” He asked gruffly.

“Is Eren home?”

“No. He’s…on vacation.”

“Oh…That explains why he said not to call the house.”

“I’m sorry, who are you?” He was confused now.

“I’m Annie Leonhart.” She said, a bit of irritation in her tone.

“Uh huh…”

“You must be a close friend. I would assume he’d have told you, though.”

“Told me what?”

“Well…he’s kind of seeing someone on the side. Cheating on his wife…with me.”

“Hmmm.”

Eren was seeing a girl!? He was cheating on him with this bitch!? As if things weren’t bad enough. Now he was learning that it was a woman. For the briefest of moments he felt something, a bit of emotion broke through.

“Don’t her tell her about this.” She cooed, almost trying to seduce him into silence.

If only she knew the truth.

“Well, I’ll go now.”

He watched her begin to walk away.

“Annie.” He called out suddenly. It startled even him.

“Yeah.”

“You should know something.”

“What?”

“I’m not Eren’s best friend…”

“Oh.”

“I’m his husband.”

The look on her face couldn’t hide her disgust. He felt the smirk slide onto his lips. It felt good to destroy something; to break down something that Eren had started; to get some form of revenge. It was beautiful. It was also the first step in regaining his life. So he let the fire freely flow through his blood. Had you looked into his eyes you would have seen the flames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How much do you hate me?


	8. Reap What You Sow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You really are something.” She hissed. “Let me fill you in then, since you are oh-so stupid. I had a little chat with Levi the other day.”
> 
> His face paled and she watched as he began to squirm. He opened his mouth, but she didn’t care what he had to say. She cut him off and spoke first. “I don’t like being lied to, Eren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are a little rough this chapter. There's some depictions of graphic violence, just as a warning.

Annie sat at the small table, patiently waiting for Eren to show up. She couldn’t believe he’d done this; that he’d lied to her. It wasn’t even that he had lied about being married, because he hadn’t. That point had been made perfectly clear from the start. It was the fact that he had said he was married to a woman, had always said “I should get going my _wife_ is waiting for me.” Wife, not husband.

There had never been even an inkling of a hint to say that he was married to a man. It pissed her off. No one, _no one_ , lied to Annie. She wouldn’t stand for it. It was one thing for a man to lie to their wife to be with her, but you didn’t lie to Annie about anything.

As far as she was concerned, Eren had done the unspeakable. You see Annie was a delicate soul. Her mental state wasn’t exactly the best. After the trauma she had sustained as a teenager, how could it be? Sex trafficking was a terrible thing no one should be involved in.

Certain parts of that past had stuck with the girl. Her therapist said she was a sex addict with a desire to break things, and by things he meant marriages. Annie had successfully made twenty-three men leave their wives in the past five years. She had made a profession out of the title home wrecker and she couldn’t be more proud.

Those who had fallen victim to her wining and dining weren’t quite so enthusiastic. Neither was her therapist. Dr. Albertson had been trying to get her to stop such behavior for years to no avail. She’d actually tried to seduce him the first time they had a session. Poor Dr. Albertson was still trying to find the best way to cure Annie of her past.

It had been a day like any other when she’d bumped into Eren at the grocery store. She’d bumped into him on purpose. She’d seen the expensive watch, the designer clothes, the discontent look on his face, but most importantly, that ring on his finger. Sure there was a little girl in the cart, so she knew there would be kids involved, but that was of no importance. Kids were probably better off with both their parents away from each other and happy for once anyway.

It was far too easy to gain his attention. _What a cute little girl. What’s her name?_ And Eren had responded in turn. She got names and it was easy to progress from there. It wasn’t long until they were sitting down for lunch and he was pouring his heart out to her. He’d been easy to crack, she egged his discontent toward his, then-thought-to-be, wife.

She’d only known him for about a month when they first shared a bed. She wondered if the wife was as discontent in the marriage as he was, and if the sex was anything to go off of, then any woman would be discontent. Of course, now that she knew he was typically a bottom player for the other team, it made perfect sense. He wasn’t used to the actual action of sex with a woman.

When she’d gone to the house, that was supposed to be the deal breaker. That would be the domino that got tipped over and set off the chain reaction. When she’d met Levi at the door, assuming that he was a good friend of Eren’s, she actually thought for a moment that Eren’s wife was cheating with someone as well.

Oh, how wrong she had been.

And now it had lead to this moment, waiting for Eren outside a café in the middle of town. Because no one played Annie Leonhart.

She had contemplated bringing a gun and shooting the bastard, but that would have been too quick. It would have ended his suffering before it had even truly begun.

She had then thought about using a knife. But there were so many to choose from, how could she decide? Big or small, hooked or straight, jagged or smooth? She finally decided that a knife was too messy.

Perhaps she could poison him? But even that did not seem like it was truly enough to sate her. All of this had lead to her final decision: She’d do it with her own bare hands.

So when his smiling face appeared before her and made to kiss her on the cheek her hands twitched in anticipation. At least he didn’t have the kid with him, probably having left her with a friend.

She shied away from the kiss, not allowing his filthy mouth to touch her skin. He wouldn’t poison her with honey sweet kisses. He looked at her in confusion, stepping back and taking his seat. “Is everything alright?” He inquired.

She looked up at him, hoping her anger was obvious in her eyes. “I don’t know, Eren. You tell me.”

The confusion on his face only grew as he looked at her, watching as she barely held her, what he assumed was, anger in. “How can I tell you what I don’t know?”

“You really are something.” She hissed. “Let me fill you in then, since you are oh-so stupid. I had a little chat with Levi the other day.”

His face paled and she watched as he began to squirm. He opened his mouth, but she didn’t care what he had to say. She cut him off and spoke first. “I don’t like being lied to, Eren.” She stood up and made her way around the table toward him. He didn’t fully register her finger nails digging into his right arm until she had his head firmly trapped by her left arm.

To a simple passerby it would look like she was draped over him, whispering into his ear. But there was pain, not pleasure, in Annie’s actions. “And no one lies to me, Eren. Absolutely no one.”

Before he realized what was happening his left arm was jerked back, her arms having left him, but not without leaving behind deep scratches. She twisted around so that she was facing away from him, his arm still in her grasp, bent over the back of the chair…and then she added pressure.

She heard the pop as his shoulder dislocated and the gut wrenching snap as the bones in his forearm broke as well. The smile that graced her face was truly a sight to see. The definition of evil might come to mind upon seeing such a smile. The joy she felt within her soul as Eren cried out was beyond anything she’d ever experienced.

She flipped him out of the chair, his head hitting the ground with a sickening crack. Mere seconds had gone by and already he had two broken bones, a dislocated shoulder, and two sets of deep scratches, four in each set, that adorned his caramel skin. The world around them looked on in shock, not sure of what to do. It wasn’t every day you saw a strapping young man getting his ass handed to him by a young woman who was much smaller than he was.

It was only after she had inflicted a black eye and another concussion worthy blow that someone stepped in. Two young women and a man stepped forth and pried her off of him, detaining her to the side as the sound of sirens rang out.

Even as the dragged her into the back of the car she kept her eyes on Eren’s figure where it still laid on the ground. It was unfortunate that she wouldn’t get to finish the job.

_________________

Two months…seven weeks….sixty-one days since he had left Levi. It had been a month ago that Annie had confronted him. She had gone to the house and had a nice little talk with Levi. Now even that was fucked up. He thought that things had been going well with her. She even liked Carla, was good with her.

But now she knew all about his “husband,” about the fact that he didn’t exactly walk the straight and narrow when it came to relationships. He had the cast and scars to remind him of it. He had now begun to question if he was gay at all. Maybe he was bi? Or maybe he was actually straight? He was just so confused, all of it jumbled together into a giant barrage of emotion that was too much for him to handle.

He glanced over at Carla. She was sitting in the corner, small hands grasped firmly around her favorite doll. It was one Levi had ordered online. It was custom made to look like her. He remembered the joy on her face when she’d gotten it for her birthday. The way she had looked at Levi with absolute love and affection. He had returned that gaze, arms opening wide as she rushed into them for a big hug.

Levi’s eyes had trailed to meet his as she hugged him tightly. He remembered returning it with a look of hatred. But now, for the first time, he realized that every time Levi had looked at him, he hadn’t been trying to tear them all apart, to take her from him. It had all been in his head. Levi had wanted nothing more than to try and put them back together again, to fix it all.

He finally realized how stupid he’d been, just how badly he had fucked up. What had he been thinking? Cheating on Levi? Why had he ever thought Levi didn’t love him? It seemed so stupid now, thinking that Levi would want to tear them apart. He played with the rings on his finger, remembering for the first time in years the inscription on each.

_Bury the past and move on to a new tomorrow._

_When you are with me, I am free._

So much meaning in two simple phrases. How he had overlooked everything that had happened between them…it didn’t seem possible that he had forgotten it all. How had he forgotten that Levi had taken him in? Forgotten that he had showed him love and kindness for the first time in months back then; forgotten that he had been everything to him; forgotten how he made him feel; forgotten how he had made Carla possible?

He felt hot tears slide down his cheeks. He had screwed it all up, just like he had before he met Levi. The truth was he’d almost been married before. Several years before he was laid off from his job, he’d met a young girl. But it hadn’t worked out because his adopted parents had forced him to feel like it was necessary to marry her.

The day of their wedding he disappeared, left her at the chapel without notice. His adopted family had disowned him after that. He had a desperate feeling that was part of why he lost his job, because his boss was friends with his adopted father. He’d told Levi his parents were dead, never speaking a word of having been adopted later by another family. He hadn’t wanted to bring up something that made him feel so shitty.

But now it seemed relevant, like it could have all helped to keep this from happening. The tears fell faster now and he didn’t realize that he was full on sobbing. Carla had noticed and was looking at him with sad eyes. She got up, bringing her doll with her.

“Daddy.” She said, her hand resting on his knee.

“Hey, baby girl.”

“Wha’s wong?” She was so perceptive for a three year old.

“Nothing.”

A beat of silence.

“Do you miss papa?”

“A little.”

“You wanna hold my dolly? Maybe she can make you feel bedder.” She held the doll out.

He smiled and laughed, taking the small doll. He hugged it, then pulled Carla into his arms as well. He hugged her tightly, her small arms wrapping around his neck, trying to comfort him as best she could and being careful to avoid his cast. She didn’t know how broken her fathers’ marriage was. But that was for the best.

“Maybe we shoul’ go home. Go see papa. Then you can give him big hugs, too.” She beamed at him.

He couldn’t help but smile. “That sounds like a great idea, honey.”


	9. Our House Needs A Little TLC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are we going to get it worked out?” Levi asked him suddenly.
> 
> Eren was quiet for a moment, “I wouldn’t have come back if I didn’t want to fix it.”

_Deep, aquamarine eyes stared into his soul as he stood there, trying his hardest not to let his knees lock into place. If that happened he knew he would collapse to the floor, his nerves getting the better of him. He couldn’t risk that; couldn’t look like a fool at his own wedding._

_His palms were sweating now, the other’s pale hands clasped gently in his own as he listened to the words, the vows of love that rolled from the young man’s tongue. Each word held a sincerity that he knew was meant with nothing but love and compassion._

_His vows had already been spoken; the promises made and meant to be kept till death did they part. He would hold true to that. He held his gaze steady, never breaking away from the aquamarine eyes that held him there, thinking of nothing but the future they would have together. He had placed the silver band next to the other on the slender, tan finger and now waited for the matching one to be placed on his own._

_But as Eren neared the end of his vows, he faltered. The words suddenly changed from what Levi remembered them being. No longer were they words that meant hope for the future; they were words that struck out like venom, flowing through his veins with lethal intent._

_They spewed forth from his lips like poison, cutting deep into his heart like a snake’s fangs to inject the pain at the most tender and weak of places. He felt his world tilt and spin, Eren’s face growing distant. He was falling; all around him Eren’s face appeared to angrily spew hateful things at him. He reached up to cover his ears, not wanting to hear the terrible words, trying desperately to block it all out. But it was useless; the words just grew louder as he fell and tried to fight against them. It wasn’t long before darkness engulfed him, carrying him farther down into the abyss below._

_But just as he thought it was all said and done, a light appeared. It was just a faint, distant speck of light, but it was light nonetheless. He reached for it, watching as it slowly drew closer, brighter, with each passing second. He heard someone calling._

“Papa?” _The tiny voice questioned._

_He tried to see where it came from but the light was getting too bright._

“Papa…wake up.” _It said again._

_Suddenly the light was right in his face, blinding him. He threw his arms up to cover his face as he fell straight into its blinding embrace._

________________

“Papa!” Carla screeched at the man who was now thrashing about in the bed.

“Get back, sweetie!” Eren announced, wrapping his good arm around her waist and pulling her back. “Go wait in the other room.”

Carla bounced out of the room with a slightly worried look on her face, but put a smile on as she rushed to the bag of her toys that sat on the floor. Eren placed himself on the bed, trying to grab Levi’s flailing limbs as he suffered from what he could only guess was a nightmare. He took a hard hit to his left eye, but finally straddled Levi’s legs, keeping them reasonably still as he struggled to restrain strong arms.

“Levi, wake up, please!” An arm smacked him in the face again.

He grumbled German curses as he fought with the man he loved, watching as he whimpered and cried from whatever horrible thing was haunting his dreams. It hurt his heart to see him like this, but it was seemingly impossible to wake him from it. He was beginning to worry, wondering if Levi would wake up or if his heart would give out from the obvious fear that was etched onto his face.

Suddenly Levi sat up, gasping for air and panting like a mad man, tears streaming down his face as he stared into Eren’s eyes. Fear was soon replaced by confusion as he realized that it was indeed Eren in front of him and not just a dream.

“Eren.” It came out as a breathy whisper.

“Levi…are you okay?” Eren cupped his face, wiping away the tears.

“Eren…” Levi’s voice cracked.

Levi buried himself into the chest of his husband, who was sitting in his lap. It had been so long since he’d held him, yet he still remembered every curve, every muscle on the man’s body. But at the same time it was like rediscovering something a person had once loved so much, almost like rewatching an old TV series after having not watched it for four or five years. Everything was expected but brought back the same feeling it did the first time you watched it happen.

That was what he felt now. It was remembered but it felt like the very first time. He didn’t want to let go for fear of losing him again. He felt Eren rest his head on top of his own, pulling him closer, wrapping him comfortably and safely in his arms. He listened to the soft coos that Eren made as he felt a soft hand run through his unkempt hair.

Eren slowly let go after he had calmed down. He pushed back, taking in the sight of Levi for the first time in two months. It was amazing what that short period of time had done to him. His hair had grown out far longer than he’d ever seen it in the past, coming down to fall around his chin, his undercut was ruined. Had it been well kept and washed it might not have looked too bad, but now Levi was looking like the homeless one.

He had lost weight; lanky limbs still held their muscle and strength, but the bones on his body were clearly visible and that was never good. His eyes appeared sunken in, darker bags showing from a lack of sleep and Eren half wondered if Levi hadn’t formed an addiction to something. It all bothered him, but the sudden smell that wafted up from the bed was what really got him.

“When was the last time you bathed?” He asked, quickly vacating the bed before he vomited.

“I…Uh…I don’t remember.” Levi replied sheepishly.

Eren stared at him in shock. Levi…not bathe? He walked out of the room for a moment and Levi could just faintly hear him telling Carla to go play in her room and stay there. Levi watched the door carefully as Eren reappeared, stalking over to the bed with a determined look on his face.

“Let’s go.” Levi looked up at him, confusion clear on his face.

“Bathroom….now!” Eren said sternly.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and feebly began to walk. Eren watched as he painstakingly made his way toward the bathroom door. It was hard to watch. Levi had almost become like a porcelain doll; everything threatened to shatter him with the gentlest of touches. He quickly went over and picked him up, much to Levi’s surprise, and carried him bridle style into the bathroom.

He placed him gently on the closed toilet lid and set about filling up the bath tub. Levi watched intently as Eren searched the cabinets until he found fresh bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and, oddly enough, body wash. Last he recalled they used bar soap, but whatever. It was soap; it would get Levi cleaned up and smelling like something other than shit. He turned the water on, waiting for it to heat up, not bothering to turn on the cold. Steam began to rise from the scalding water in wispy puffs.

He turned to Levi who was looking at the water like it was a pot on a stove and Eren was the evil witch getting ready to boil him up for dinner. Eren let out a soft chuckle, squatting down in front of his husband with soft eyes.

“Hey…look at me.” He said.

Levi’s eyes drifted to his gaze, worry still in them.

“It needs to be hot to kill all the nasty shit that is growing on you. You probably have some weird fungus or something. And I am not getting cozy with you until it’s gone, got it?”

Levi shook his head slowly, letting Eren know he understood. Eren helped him up, slowly undressing him, careful not to get infected by any of the weird stuff that was living on the fabric. Levi tentatively placed a toe in the water, yelping in response and nearly falling over backwards as he tried to retreat from the hot water. But Eren kept him upright and picked up the struggling man, setting him down into the water despite the fight that he put up.

Levi couldn’t help but cry out as the hot water burned his skin, but soon enough his body adjusted to the water temperature and he was relaxing in the warmth of it. He watched as Eren squirted the soap onto a wash cloth before lazily scrubbing him down. It was nice, to be cared for again, to feel his husband’s hand and the soft cloth run over his body, massaging the soap into this skin and washing away all the grime and built up filth. It wasn’t long before the tub had to be emptied of the murky water and fresh run in.

Levi let the new flood of warm water swirl around him, leaning back so that his hair was drenched and Eren could scrub the shampoo deep into the black locks and rid them of the dandruff, dirt, and other assorted things that had gotten caught in the tangled mess. After an hour of scrubbing, rinsing, and more scrubbing, Eren had finished cleaning him up. He was helped up and carefully dried off, a clean pair of Eren’s clothes set out for him to wear because all of his were in need of a good washing. Levi had forgotten how nice it was to be clean. Never again, he told himself, never again.

Eren left him to get dressed, heading to check on little Carla who had fallen asleep on her bed while playing. He glanced at the clock, noting the time and went to the kitchen to see if the fridge held anything edible. He opened the door, only to immediately close it again. He’d need a hazmat suite before taking that job. How it had managed to get his bad, Eren didn’t know. But it must have happened in the last month or so, because when Annie had come to yell at him she had made it sound like Levi was at least somewhat okay.

At least the bills had been paid so the power and water where still on, letting them use the appliances, phone, and water. He’d just have to order pizza or something for dinner. A trip to the store would have to wait until he got this place cleaned back up and everything in order again, turning the house back into a home. While he was on the phone placing his order Levi staggered around the corner, legs not quite wanting to keep him upright, but he managed to make it to the couch.

“Please tell me you didn’t lose your job.” Eren said after he got off the phone.

“No…Pixis just put me on temporary leave till I got things worked out.”

“He always was fond of you.”

“He’s still paying me even though I’m not there doing anything. Drunken idiot.”

“I guess he wants to see you get it worked out.”

“Are we going to get it worked out?” Levi asked him suddenly.

Eren was quiet for a moment, “I wouldn’t have come back if I didn’t want to fix it.”

“Why did you do it? Why did you fucking hurt me like that?” Levi begged, beginning to fall apart again.

“Levi…I fucked up. I fucked everything up, just like I did before I met you.” Now Eren was crying.

“What are you talking about?” Levi sniffled.

“I…I was almost married once before. And my real parents are dead, but I was adopted after that.”

“What?”

“There was this girl, back when I had my old job, before the whole homeless thing. I dated her for a while and then my adopted parents, Jacob and Sarah, pressured me to marry her. I proposed, we set a date, and everything. And then the day came to say the vows and…I realized I didn’t love her. I ran off, left her there at the church, and didn’t even show up. Jacob was furious when I turned back up a few weeks later. He disowned me and well….my boss was a friend of his. I think that’s why I got fired, because Jacob pressured him to get rid of me in order to teach me a lesson.”

Levi didn’t know what to say. Apparently Eren had never felt truly comfortable with him or he would have come clean about this. But he wasn’t mad, surprisingly so; he was happy actually. This was progress, a step toward fixing it all. Eren had made his way over to him and had collapsed in front of him while confessing. Levi now slid to the floor with him and embraced him, letting his head snuggle in tightly to the crook of his neck.

“I never should have gone running to someone else, much less a girl….I’m so sorry, Levi.” Eren let the tears fall.

Levi held him close, his own tears falling. He looked down at the pale face that was flushed red, their eyes meeting with sorrow filled gazes. He placed his fingers gently under Eren’s chin, tilting his head further up, lips parting slightly before gently pressing against the thin, pink ones of his husband. He felt slender arms wrap around his neck, deepening the kiss.

Levi pulled back, noticing for the first time the cast on Eren’s arm. “What happened?” He gently pulled Eren’s arm toward him, looking the cast over carefully. He pulled the other arm over as well, running his fingers gingerly over the four parallel scars that marred Eren’s beautiful skin.

Eren gave a huff. “It’s not important how I got it. All you need to know right now is that I deserved it.”

“Daddy?” Carla whispered, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she stood in the doorway to her room, doll in hand. Both men turned to look at her, not bothering to continue their conversation. It could be better discussed later.

“Hey buttercup, come here.” Levi said.

She gave a big smile, a couple of teeth missing, and rushed over to join in on the hugs and kisses. The three of them sat there, huddled on the floor, sharing the first perfect moment together in a long time. They laughed and clung to one another as Carla recounted all the things that had happened to her since the last time she’d seen Levi two months prior. The moment could have lasted forever, but the door bell rang out with the arrival of the pizza delivery guy.

Eren jumped up, grabbing his wallet, and rushed to the door. Levi pulled Carla closer to him, holding her tight as she played with her doll. He didn’t ever want to let her go, nor did he wish to lose Eren again. He would make sure that didn’t happen.

“So…who wants pizza?” Eren asked coming back into the room.

“Me!” Levi and Carla yelled at the same time.

A round of laughter rang out through the house that was on its way to turning back into a home. Baby steps, Eren reminded himself; baby steps. They would make it in due time.


	10. Of Teenagers And Office Blowjobs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who is this?” He said through gritted teeth, making Carla wince ever so slightly.
> 
> “This is…Axel. My…boyfriend.” She murmured.
> 
> “Boyfriend?!” Levi shouted.
> 
> At this Eren popped his head around the corner. He didn’t know anything about a boyfriend and the look on his face made Carla want to cry. He was now angry with her too and one look at “Axel” had Eren entering the room with the knife he’d been using to cut an orange.
> 
> “Uh…” Axel began. “I didn’t know your parents were fags.” He looked at Levi then to Eren with absolute disgust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More time skipping...Also I feel like Eren would have been a Pokémon fan. This comment will make sense in a moment. Just read.

She stood in front of the mirror, a brush flowing gently through her long, brown locks, each tangled knot coming undone as the bristles worked them out. Bright, blue eyes danced in the morning light that peaked in through the window. The teenage girl finished with her hair, pulling it up into a quick messy bun to complete her look for the day.

She was an interesting soul; though seventeen she was still immensely young at heart, which is why she had found a love for video games and cartoons. When she’d turned fifteen she had vowed to make sure each of her outfits was inspired by a character from one of her favorite shows or games. And that is why she wore the yellow and black clothing, to represent the small, electrifying creature that had once stolen the heart of one of her father’s when the show first appeared in his childhood.

A black lacy skirt that came to mid thigh, accented with just the right amount of frilly lace. A yellow tank top carefully tucked into it, but not too tightly. The red belt with custom made buckle in a rounded shape that was red on top with a thin, black stripe and white on the bottom, wrapped delicately around her waist. A short, cropped, black, leather jacket shrugged onto her shoulders, collar flipped up in a bad ass way. She stole it from the back of her papa’s closet last weekend. High top, red converse adorned her small feet and offset the yellow and black bangles that hung loosely on her wrists.

She twirled in front of the full length mirror that hung on her closet door, admiring her handy work as she compared herself to the picture of the well known and famous Pokémon that was on her computer screen. She gave a bright smile, before fixing her lip gloss, grabbing her book bag, and exiting the room.

She set her stuff down by the key rack and made her way to the kitchen.

“Good morning.” She sang.

The two men looked her way, one looking up from the paper work set before him, the other turning from the stove where pancakes were just getting done. Eren smiled at his daughter’s cheerful spirit as she skipped over and placed a quick kiss on his cheek.

She turned to her other father, big smile still plastered on her face, but it quickly dropped as she saw the unhappy look on his face. Levi was scowling at her, grey eyes gazing over the top of reading glasses at her skirt.

“Is something wrong, papa?” She asked animatedly.

“You are not wearing that to school.” Levi stated plainly, going back to the work at hand.

Carla was shocked. She’d worn the skirt plenty of times before, why did it matter now? She was about to speak up when she realized that he had already left for work on the other days she’d worn it. But it still made her mad. She went out with friends in shorts that were far more risqué than this. Of course, maybe part of her sudden anger was simply the rebellious, teenage side of her coming out and showing its nasty face, but either way the morning was about to be ruined.

“I’ve worn it before.” She said with a bit too much sass.

Eren nearly dropped the plate of pancakes he was holding. His daughter did not just say that to her dad…it was a dream and he would wake up any minute now. Any minu-

“Obviously, I wasn’t aware of it. Now go change.” He didn’t even look up.

“You can’t tell me what to do anymore. I’m seventeen now.”

Eren cringed. This was going to end badly, wasn’t it? Carla had certainly entered into her “I want to be independent” stage. She had been pushing her limits lately and now things were getting out of hand. Levi wasn’t going to stand for this.

“What did you just say to me, young lady?” Levi’s head had snapped up in an instant to glare at her.

“You heard me just fine, papa.” She snapped back.

Levi opened his mouth to respond, but the door bell cut him off. Whoever it was they were incessantly pressing the small button in quick succession. Carla jumped up and down for a moment, a bright smile forming on her lips where a frown had been just seconds before. She rushed off to answer the door stating in a giddy tone that it was for her.

Levi slowly scooted his seat back after hearing the door open and only a quick greeting from whoever it was before Carla’s voice was cut off mid sentence. He was curious who it was and his daughter still needed to change into something more appropriate to wear. He rounded the corner, pausing mid stride as he came face to face with the scene before him.

There was his daughter…in the arms of a _boy_ …who looked like he was on the wrong side of the city. He recalled going to school with kids that looked like him and nothing good ever came from it. His hair was died the most horrendous shade of blue, streaks of red randomly strung about in it. It was styled in a spiky manner, no real direction to any one strand. His pants were _much_ too big for him, a rather large chain hanging on one side that connected to the useless belt. The shirt he wore appeared to be an old band T that must have been three sizes too big and his shoes…well; he wasn’t really sure what to make of his shoes. He assumed they were skateboard shoes at one point but they were so worn that you could barely tell they were shoes anymore.

But what really got him was the fact that _he_ was _lip locked_ with _his daughter_ right there in the door way. His hands were positioned directly _on her ass_ and slowly making her skirt ride up higher.

It was absolutely unacceptable and when he cleared his throat, which actually came out as more of a growl, the boy wasn’t the one who moved. Carla jumped back quickly, letting Levi finally get a clear view of the boys face.

Both his ears were pierced multiple times, along with his nose and lip. Part of a tattoo rose just above the neck of his shirt; he appeared to be wearing the smallest amount of eye liner, and it did nothing for his hazel eyes at all. He didn’t even want to think about the nail polish either.

The boy stared at Levi blankly as though nothing was wrong, which only angered Levi more.

“Who is this?” He said through gritted teeth, making Carla wince ever so slightly.

“This is…Axel. My…boyfriend.” She murmured.

“Boyfriend?!” Levi shouted.

At this Eren popped his head around the corner. He didn’t know anything about a boyfriend and the look on his face made Carla want to cry. He was now angry with her too and one look at “Axel” had Eren entering the room with the knife he’d been using to cut an orange.

“Uh…” Axel began. “I didn’t know your parents were fags.” He looked at Levi then to Eren with absolute disgust.

Carla’s jaw dropped. Granted she’d never brought it up at school that she had gay parents, but she had thought Axel cared enough he would overlook it. Apparently she’d been wrong. She watched as Eren’s grip on the knife tightened. Levi noticed too, turning back to the boy in the door. He was about to speak up when Carla interrupted him.

“Get out.” She demanded.

Axel looked at her, brows furrowed in confusion.

“I said get the _fuck_ out!” She screamed. “We are so done! They are my parents! You will not talk about them like that! Now get out!”

He took a step back, but made no real attempt to leave. It was then that she stepped forward, fist flying straight into his face. He didn’t even have time to block the punch. Her hand connected with his nose with a sickening crunch. He staggered backwards and was rushing to his car, tears beginning to fall as Carla panted in the doorway, her anger running its course. Levi and Eren both stood in awe of their daughter.

“I guess you are growing up after all.” Levi said, placing a hand on her shoulder and grabbing her hand to examine it.

Eren came up behind them, knife still in hand, to see if she was okay too. He didn’t get to close before Levi was scolding him for bringing the knife out of the kitchen, saying he looked like a damn serial killer. The atmosphere lightened immediately as everyone settled down from the morning’s excitements.

“You can stay home if you’d like, honey.” Levi offered.

“Thanks papa, but I think I’ll go change, then just walk and get there late. This skirt is too short after all.” She headed up stairs to change.

Eren poked his head back around the corner, waiting till Carla was out of earshot before speaking up.

“You were gonna kill him weren’t you?”

“Excuse me?” Levi questioned.

“The boy…you were gonna have his head or his balls weren’t you?”

“Maybe…you didn’t see the way he was groping her. But it looked like you wanted to kill him as well.”

“I thought about it for a moment.”

“At least we raised her right.”

“She certainly showed she still loves us.”

Levi sauntered over to place a kiss on Eren’s lips.

“I should get back to this paper work.”

“You’ve been so damn busy lately. Aren’t you ever gonna get a break?”

“Someday…maybe.” He mumbled.

“Maybe you can stay home today…call in sick.” Eren wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Stop that. I have to get all this done. It’s important. I can’t just call I sick.”

“What if I came to the office with you? Helped you “relax” a little?” He ran a hand down Levi’s back causing him to shiver.

“Well….I don’t have any appointments today. I guess you could come with me.”

“Oh…I won’t be the one who’s cuming, babe.”

“EREN!” He turned just as Eren bolted from the room.

_________________

After making sure Carla had made it out the door Eren and Levi headed to the office building where Levi worked. It wasn’t too far from home, so the trip was rather quick. Eren had never been to the office before though.

He took it all in. The large, twenty-five story building of glass and steel stood high in the morning sky, the sun glinting off it in a majestic manner. The inside was pristine, very clean and perfectly decorated. The lobby was abuzz with people going to and fro, rushing to go about their day. They rode the elevator to the top, taking a right after exiting and coming to what Levi told him was the second largest office in the whole building.

There on the door, in gold lettering was Levi’s name. Eren felt his heart swell with pride at what his husband had accomplished. The office was just like he imagined it would be, only bigger. Shelves lined two of the walls, filled with books and family pictures, including one of their wedding day. The back wall wasn’t really a wall; rather, it was a giant window that faced the west, letting you view the ocean in the distance. The view was spectacular and had Eren reminding himself to breathe.

Levi took his place in the leather chair behind the desk, setting his briefcase down to the right side where he always did. He pulled out the files he’d been working on that morning and got to it. Eren watched him closely, the way his brow would furrow from time to time, or admiring the crease on his forehead as he went into deep thought. Several times Levi had to adjust his glasses as they began to fall off his nose. He had been upset when his eyes had started to fail him, but Eren liked the way he looked in the metal frames.

He found himself wandering around to the window, watching the birds as they flew about, swooping here and there. He could see the traffic jam a few blocks over and the flashing lights as a cop sped to a call. It wasn’t long before he was bored. He glanced at the clock; 11:15. He needed a distraction and by the way Levi was rubbing his head he probably needed one too.

He let himself silently sneak up behind his husband, hands resting gently on his tense shoulders. He began to rub small circle between his shoulder blades, trying to relieve some stress. Levi moaned, his shoulders sagging as he relaxed into Eren’s touch.

Before he knew it Eren had pulled his chair back and placed himself in his lap, arms wrapped gently around his neck as he pulled him in for a kiss. It was gentle at first, but soon it became heated and Levi found himself grasping Eren’s hips in a way that would surely bruise later. The two soon became a moaning mess, Eren grinding against Levi’s crotch to gain friction, but it wasn’t enough for either of them.

Eren quickly reminded himself that this was for Levi, not himself. Levi was the stressed one, the one who needed the release and the pleasure it brought. He was on his knees in an instant, experienced fingers not missing a lick as he undid the button and zipper in well under ten seconds. Thankfully, Levi had dressed casually today so there was no belt to deal with.

Levi lifted his hips, letting Eren slide his pants and boxers down to his ankles. The rush of cold air against him made him bite his lip and moan, begging Eren to get on with it. No words needed to be spoken really. They had been together long enough now that simple glances and noises told the other what was wanted. Eren licked up his shaft, making Levi throw his head back at the feeling.

It had been too long since they’d been intimate like this and he planned on cherishing every second of it. He let his hands slip into the Eren’s hair, gripping firmly as a hot tongue went over his slit, sending shivers through him. He let out a struggled whimper, letting Eren know he needed to stop teasing and get on with it.

He listened very well because the next thing Eren did was take his entire length in, letting it hit the back of his throat. He loved hearing the moans it produced from his husband when he did this. He pulled back some, sucking as he went, but never pulling off completely. He set a rhythm, pacing himself and listening closely so he’d know when Levi was close.

Levi felt himself slipping in the chair, his legs now holding him up more than the chair was. But he didn’t care. He was getting quite possibly the best blow job of his life from the man he loved more than anything else in the world and if he fell on his ass then so be it.

The fact that they were in an office building had long since left their minds. Levi’s moans grew louder, his breathing heavier. Eren knew he was close when the grip on his hair tightened. Levi could feel the warmth at the base of his stomach growing, it wouldn’t be long. He was so close, the pressure ready to be released.

Just as Eren was about to give one final suck to tip Levi over the edge…

A loud knock rang out from the door.

Both men panicked, Eren pulling back quickly, head slamming into the desk behind him, the chair shooting out from underneath Levi as he jerked himself up. He hit the floor with a thud, the person behind the door asking if everything was okay.

“It’s fine! Just a moment!” Levi cried out in a broken voice.

This whole situation couldn’t have gotten more awkward in a quicker amount of time. There he was pants around his ankles and hard on throbbing like no tomorrow in the floor with Eren mumbling German curses and rubbing the back of his head, a line of saliva, which had somehow managed to stay connected to his dick, hanging from his lips. He picked himself up, quickly pulling up his pants and stuffing his very erect self into his boxers as best he could.

Eren got up as well; wiping his face on his sleeve and fixing the chair as Levi frantically pulled out his appointment book and flipped through the pages.

“Fuck…” He muttered.

“What is it?” Eren whispered.

“I forgot I had a lunch appointment with a client.”

Eren laughed lightly.

“Shut up…We could have been caught.”

“So?” Eren said suggestively.

“What do you mean _so_? You want another person to see my dick? Better than that, my dick while it’s still in your mouth?”

“Well when you put it that way….” Eren trailed off.

“Exactly. Now make yourself presentable and go hide out in the bathroom for an hour. I should be done with him by then.”

“You make it sound like you’re gonna fuck him.”

“With what you’ve left me with, I might have to.” He gestured to his pants.

Eren narrowed his eyes at him, shaking his head slowly as he fixed his hair and headed for the door to the bathroom on the left side of the room.

“Oh…and don’t you dare touch yourself. I want you all to myself when I get done. You are gonna finish what you started.”

It is going to be a long, uncomfortable hour, Eren thought as he let the bathroom door click into place.


	11. Love Makes The Heart Beat Faster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know that our family is a bit unconventional to most people’s standards and that at a normal wedding the bride’s father walks her down the aisle. But I have two…so I wanted to ask, if you’d both hand me away? It would mean the world to me and I don’t want to leave either of you out of this moment in my life.”

The wind blew gently through the trees, rustling the leaves and carrying the songs of the birds through the air. The sun was high in the sky, a few scattered clouds drifting along leaving bits of moving shade beneath them. _The perfect day for a wedding_ , Levi thought to himself as he stood in the park, looking at the large, white, party tent that had been erected several hours before. His grey eyes scanned the scene before him, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. It felt like just yesterday that he was standing at the altar waiting for Eren so they could say their vows and be married. Now it was different though.

Eren saw him from afar, sneaking up to let his arms wrap around his waist and his chin to rest on his shoulder. He placed feather light kisses along his neck, nuzzling in closer.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked.

“Just the last time we were at a wedding…”

“Our wedding?”

“Have we been to any other weddings lately?”

“No.” Eren replied sheepishly.

Levi turned in his arms, pulling him closer and kissing his nose. “Yes, our wedding.”

He wiped the stray tear that had fallen from Eren’s eye away. “Hey…what’s wrong?”

“She grew up so fast.” He sobbed, burying his face in Levi’s shoulder.

He felt warm hands rubbing soft circles on his back. Levi’s voice cooing softly in his ear soon had him calmed down and dragging Levi along behind him. There was an area that was marked off, a small portable building that held the bride. The two fathers entered it after a few quick knocks and the announcement of their presence. Eren gasped and Levi did his best not to cry.

Carla stood before them, a white dress flowing from her figure. Her long, brown hair was pulled up into a braided bun, small flowers adorning it like a crown. Her skin was a soft peach that had been lightly covered in glitter, the smallest amount of pink blush covering her cheeks. She didn’t feel it was necessary though, because of the blood rushing to her face from her nerves. Her eyes sparkled with anticipation and anxiety. A bouquet of lilies wrapped in silver ribbon sat on the table to her left.

Her breathing was heavy, heart beat erratic as she sat with her bride’s maids. But when her parents walked in she broke down.

“Daddy…” She got up and rushed into Eren’s arms.

Levi knew that she wanted Eren to walk her down the aisle. He had wanted to be a part of that, but he understood. Of course this was simply his assumptions. He wasn’t sure of how a wedding worked when the bride had two fathers. It had always been a worry for him, wondering how others would treat her because of him and Eren. But she had held her own and on a few occasions had to be bailed out of jail for attacking the person who had talked ill of them.

Now she stood before him, wrapped in Eren’s arms, a true woman in his eyes. No longer was she that little girl. She would, of course, always be his little girl, but it was different now. She was about to be handed over to another man, one who he could only hope would forever treat her right and love her more than he ever could. If not, he had promised to track him down and end him, as had Eren. Neither of them would stand for him hurting their daughter, even if it meant they went to prison.

He watched as the two shared their moment: father and daughter together like this for the last time before she was married and given a new name. He watched from the side, letting a silent tear free and biting his lip to keep from sobbing. But his actions didn’t go unnoticed. Carla was soon in his arms, trying to keep from crying herself, and assuring him it was fine, that what he felt was normal for a father in this situation. He just hugged her tightly before holding her at arm’s length to look at her.

“You look so beautiful, buttercup.” He croaked, his voice almost failing him.

She wiped away a stray tear from her cheek. “I had a question to ask the both of you.”

“What is it?” Eren placed a hand on her arm, letting it slide over her skin.

“I know that our family is a bit unconventional to most people’s standards and that at a normal wedding the bride’s father walks her down the aisle. But I have two…so I wanted to ask, if you’d both hand me away? It would mean the world to me and I don’t want to leave either of you out of this moment in my life.”

Levi felt his heart skip. He had assumed wrong. But now that she had said it, now that she’d asked, the gravity of what was happening today hit him. His baby girl was leaving, being handed off to another, and truly entering into womanhood in the most intimate of ways. Sure she had moved out when she started college, but this was a whole different thing. The time they spent together would forever decrease until he passed on or lost his mind. He was losing her, and for some strange reason it felt harder than it should have.

Eren knew something was wrong whenever Levi didn’t respond right away in some form or fashion. But he pushed it aside as just a bit of shock. He knew that Levi tended to assume that Carla didn’t love him as much and always thought she’d want Eren to be there for everything. But when he saw Levi begin an attempt to form words his worry was cast aside completely. He gave Levi’s’ hand a light squeeze and the two prepared to walk their daughter down the aisle.

____________________

Eren peeked around the corner to signal the start of the music. Carla was ready and as he let the others know it was time he couldn’t help but take in the sight of her soon to be husband, Kyle, as he stood at the front of the tent, the priest just behind him. Blonde hair with bright, green eyes dressed up in a fancy black tux, and knees looking weak as he waited, trying not to pass out from his nerves. He couldn’t help but snicker at the young man. Eren gave the signal and went back to his place at Carla’s right. Levi stood to the left and as the bride’s maids and groom’s men began to walk they moved forward slowly.

_____________________

Carla was so nervous. She couldn’t help but feel a terribly embarrassing, light sweat come on as she got closer to walking down the aisle. All eyes would be on her, but it would be worth it. As she made her way to the arch, the flower petals tickled her feet as she watched the flower girl, Aunt Mikasa and Uncle Armin’s daughter, rush ahead of her and the brightest of smiles made its way onto her face. She had been waiting for this day. She looped an arm through each of her father’s arms and prepared to make the journey that would mark the beginning of the next step in her life with the man she loved, with Kyle.

____________________

Levi couldn’t shake the strange feeling that had emerged when Carla had asked if he would also accompany her down the aisle. His heart hadn’t stopped the strange beat pattern and a pain was working its way through his left shoulder and side of his neck. He could feel it getting harder to breath, but surely it was just nerves and emotions. He tried cracking his neck and thought that maybe it was time to go in for a checkup sometime soon. But his thoughts soon drifted to other things.

He’d been thirty-five when they adopted Carla. Now it was twenty-seven years later and he was sixty-two and watching as she started a family of her own. They stepped into the archway, ready to truly begin this wedding. _Just don’t pay attention to all the eyes_ , he thought as they walked along slowly.

Half way there his face contorted in pain. Something wasn’t right. And as he went to make his next step, his leg gave out and he felt the floor meet him in a not so nice way before everything went black with searing pain.

____________________

“Papa!” Carla screamed as Levi collapsed.

Eren was rushing to his side before anyone knew what was going on. Kyle was soon there as well, a hand resting on the small of Carla’s back as he tried to comfort her and keep her out of the way. He knew she wanted desperately to help her father, but she would only be in the way. That wouldn’t help anyone.

Eren was trying to get Levi to respond to no avail. He pressed two fingers to the crook of his neck, searching for a pulse. What he found was an erratic beat that couldn’t mean anything good.

“Call an ambulance!” He yelled, hoping one of the guests was that moron who would keep their phone on for the whole ceremony.

Several people whipped out their phones and where calling it in as he continued to try and get Levi to respond in any way. He tried to keep the tears from falling, but he didn’t know how long he’d be able too. The sirens where heard soon enough and it wasn’t long before paramedics were rushing in to load Levi onto the gurney. Eren was about to head back to the ambulance with them but he paused.

Turning to Carla he said, “Don’t worry. He’ll be fine. Just finish up your wedding and we can all watch the video when he gets out.”

“No! I’m coming with you!” Carla sobbed, trying to get out of Kyle’s arms.

“Please…keep her from doing anything stupid.” Eren looked at Kyle.

He nodded in response and with that Eren was running to get into the ambulance.

____________________

The hospital was absolute chaos. Apparently there had been a terrible car accident in town as well and people were rushing about trying to help the victims when the paramedics rushed Levi into the ER hours ago. Now Eren paced the hallway, waiting for the doctor to fetch him. He was deathly worried about Levi. Was he alright? What if he was dead? What if he would have to wake up alone tomorrow only to begin planning a funeral? He was tearing himself apart with unanswered questions of terrible thoughts. He didn’t even realize that he had dropped to his knees in the hall, gasping as sobs wracked his body. Nor did he realize a nurse had knelt beside him, trying to comfort and calm him.

As he caught his breath, finally convincing himself it would be fine, he felt the hand on his shoulder and heard the gentle voice that worked to sooth him. He picked himself up off the floor with the nurse’s assistance and placed himself in one of the chairs that lined the hall. He watched as she scurried off to get him a glass of water. He leaned forward, letting his head rest in his hands. The hallway was silent, leaving him alone with his thoughts once more as he waited for some kind of news.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed but the distinct echo of clacking heels brought him from the depths of his mind. He looked up to see his daughter, still clad in her wedding dress, rushing toward him, with groom in tow. She still looked beautiful, but he could see the tear stains as she rushed into his arms. Her voice was hoarse as she spoke.

“Oh daddy…is he okay? Can we see him? Why are you in the hall? Where is he? What did they tell you?” Came the barrage of quickly spoken and hard to understand questions.

He tried to find his voice to answer, but found it had left him for the moment. All he could manage was a silent sob. The nurse returned at that moment with his water and he took several sips, the cool liquid calming him and quenching his parched mouth. He did his best to answer Carla without breaking down again.

“I-I don’t know much yet. He’s…still in the ER. All I-I know is that when we pulled up…When we pulled up he was flat lining.” The last part was a sob.

Carla’s hands flew to her mouth. Kyle set a hand on her shoulder, trying to be strong for her. He was upset too. The relationship he had developed with Carla’s fathers was surprisingly good and he would never wish such sorrow on any of them.

“You didn’t listen to me, did you?” Eren finally asked, after their sobs had subsided. “You didn’t just go ahead and get married.”

“How could I, daddy? I’m not getting married without my both father’s there to see it. He has to be okay! He just has too!”

“Come here, sweetie.” Eren pulled her close, letting the tears fall again.

Kyle stood somewhat awkwardly next to them, watching as a doctor came from the double doors at the hallway’s end. He strolled toward them, removing his blue latex gloves and stuffing them into the pocket of his lab coat.

“Are you the Ackerman’s? He asked.

“We are.” Came Eren’s reply.

“You’re Levi’s…?” He trailed off.

“Husband and daughter.”

“Of course. Well, we’ve got him in a room, but he’ll need to stay a couple of days to recover and so we can keep an eye on him.”

“So he’s okay?” Carla asked.

“He’s stable and should be fine, yes.”

“What exactly happened?” Eren inquired.

“He suffered from an acute myocardial infarction, a minor heart attack. There is a chance that his heart could be damaged, which is why we need to keep him under observation and run some tests. And I’ll let you know right now, that since this has happened, it increases the chances of it happening again.” The doctor explained.

“Can we see him?”

“Yes, he’s in room two forty-three.”

“Thank you.”

_______________________

Levi was fit to be tied with the nurse who couldn’t seem to properly put the IV in to save her life, much less his. He was thoroughly annoyed at her constant poking and prodding that was turning his arm a nasty shade of purple. She was determined to get his veins to stay still long enough to get the needle in though. But her attitude was liable to make him snap before anything else did. The way she acted as if he was some mindless, old person who needed to be treated like a child had him contemplating murder.

Sure he was aging, but he wasn’t that old yet. Being treated like he couldn’t wipe his own ass was beyond humiliating and downright degrading. He wasn’t going to stand for it much longer and was making a mental not to request a new nurse the minute the doctor returned, whether she was still in the room or not. She could complain all she wanted but it was not just him being a cranky, old man.

And don’t even get him started on how she kept calling him old. He was nowhere near over the hill yet, was in decent shape, and his hair still had most of its color. Sure he had spectacles, but he’d been using those since his late thirties. He might have strained his eyes a little too much on those all nighters back in college.

The nurse finally finished up with the IV just as the door was opening. He watched as a somewhat distraught Carla and Eren rushed in with a worried looking Kyle behind them. The nurse turned, authority in her stance and tone as she addressed the sudden visitors.

“Visiting hours are over.” She hissed, trying to usher them out of the room.

Eren tried to explain, but the minute he opened his mouth she was talking again.

“Come on now. Don’t make me call security. Mr. Ackerman needs his rest. You need to leave.”

Carla began to protest, but was cut off just like Eren was. But rather than take it with silent rage like her father did while standing his ground, Carla broke down into tears and curled into Kyle’s chest. Levi had seen enough and was done dealing with this nurse. He quickly flung his feet over the side and stood up, ignoring the doctor’s orders from earlier.

“Now look here you motherfucker! Get whatever is shoved up your ass removed and let my husband, daughter, and son-in-law in the damn room!” He bellowed.

She looked at him in absolute shock. Not only was he being unruly and disobeying orders, but he was being terribly rude. However, that wasn’t what she found shocking. The next words out of her mouth marked the beginning of the downward spiral the situation was taking.

“How disgusting!” She squealed. “I’ve been administering a gay man! You devil! Keep away from me!”

Levi took a now furious step forward, perfectly intent on strangling the bitch.

“Get thee away from me _Satan_! I’ll not help the likes of you!” She spat.

In all his years Eren had never met anyone so outright hateful of gays. Perhaps it had been luck. He watched as the nurse began to spout scriptures in an attempt to purge “Satan” from the room. But what really got him was when she wrenched Carla from Kyle’s arms and insisted on taking her to the Catholic church she attended to “wash her of the taint” she had gathered from her gay parents. Kyle was furiously trying to get the woman to let Carla go.

At that moment another nurse, the doctor, and two security officers appeared in the door. Kyle had given up when Eren had stepped in to fight the grip on Carla, so he quickly explained the situation to the four people. Levi had moved to pull on the nurse’s hair. This caused her to finally cave to her inner anger completely. She began to spout profanities left and right. It was then that the security guards stepped in, getting Carla, Eren, and Levi out of the way as they picked up the crazed, homophobic woman to escort her out and be removed of her position.

The doctor quickly apologized, but Levi was dead set on suing the woman. As things began to calm the doctor got Levi to lie back down before leaving the family to converse. Carla explained that given the circumstances of what had happened at the wedding, she and Kyle had made arrangements to postpone the wedding for three weeks. After a few hours of heartfelt talking, Carla and Kyle headed out, leaving Eren to fall asleep on the small couch by Levi’s bed.

_____________________

Three weeks later the scene was set once more. The bridal march began to play and with tears of joy, Eren and Levi walked Carla down the aisle to hand her off. The vows were said. The rings exchanged. The rice thrown as the happy couple departed.

Eren and Levi drove home in silence; Eren’s eyes on the road and Levi lazily looking out the window at the passing scenery. He was retiring soon and he didn’t know what he was going to do with his time anymore. He’d have to take it easy because of his heart, but surely there were things he and Eren could do together.

His head fell against the back of the seat, eyes heavy and tired. He soon felt a warm hand wrap around his own, pulling him back from the brink of sleep. He glanced down to find Eren’s hand wrapped around his own, fingers intertwined perfectly. A quick glance to Eren’s face revealed a small smile, showing all the love in the world, but it slowly curved into a smirk. This had Levi curious as to what could possibly be going through that head of his.

“What are you thinking about?” Levi asked, shifting in his seat.

“Hmm.” Eren hummed in response.

“Out with it.” Levi insisted.

“Just thinking about the answer the doctor gave me, that’s all.”

“What answer?”

Eren side glanced at Levi’s confused face and the raised eyebrow that was perched on his forehead. He laughed as he looked back at the road.

“Would you fucking tell me already?”

“I asked about what kind of _activities_ you would still be able to participate in given your heart’s condition.”

“Activities? Like sports and shit? I wasn’t involved in that stuff to begin with.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t think I do.”

“Memory failing you already, dear?”

“Shut up, Eren.”

“Surely you remember what kind of _activities_ we usually involve ourselves in.”

“Well I don’t.”

“You know…just you and me…”

“So we do it by ourselves?”

“And maybe the bed, or the shower, or the kitchen cabinet…”

“Oh God, shut up! I get it!”

“ _Sexual activities, my dear.”_ Eren cooed.

“Eren…” Levi cautioned.

“I can pull over.”

“No. We’re too old to do it in the car.”

“You’re never too old to do it in a car.”

“What has gotten into you?”

“I guess I realized that life is short. I don’t want to miss a single moment with you, Levi. I fucked up once; I don’t want to do it again.”

“Pull over…now.”

Eren pulled the car into a road side park that just happened to be there and looked down at the steering wheel. Levi shifted to look at him better.

“Look at me, Eren.”

Eren looked toward the door instead. Levi reached over and turned his head so he could look at him.

“You won’t fuck it up again and I don’t plan on leaving any time soon. I’m still _young_. It’ll be fine.” He cupped Eren’s face in his hands. “Now get your ass in the back seat!”

Eren was slightly shocked; a bright, red blush adorned is cheeks as Levi got out of the passenger seat. This was happening. It took him a moment to process it though, but when the back door closed he was quickly moving. He had been joking, but he wasn’t gonna pass it up. He was suddenly glad the road side park was vacant of other people because the moment he closed the door Levi was on him like a dog in heat.

Granted it had been a while since anything…spicy had taken place between the two of them. But with the events of a few weeks back they both felt the need to no longer let their age hold them back.

______________________

Levi pulled the car into the driveway. He had driven the rest of the way home, because Eren had a literal pain in his ass. It had felt nice to be together intimately again though, so Eren wasn’t complaining. For the first time in a long time, they walked, well, Eren hobbled; hand in hand back into their house. Levi just wanted to spend the rest of the day in post-coital bliss, but Eren had to ruin it.

“What time is it, Eren?”

“Let me check my watch…”

“You don’t own a watch.”

“Yes I do…and it says you aren’t wearing underwear.”

“What are you talking about? I’m fully clothed.”

“Shit…It must be an hour fast.”

“EREN!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter and it's over. Don't cry, keep it together now.


	12. Not A Happy Ending - Just Another New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know we did a lot of thinking and looking back over the last few days, but don’t let it get to you okay?”
> 
> “I just —” Eren put a finger on his lips.
> 
> “Don’t. We’re old okay? It happens to everyone. But we’ve had a good run. We don’t need to look back and regret.”
> 
> “You’re right. Why are you right?”
> 
> “Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Also this is about 6,000 words long, so be warned.

Carla handled the camera with amazing skill. Her degree in photography and film was paying off on this beautiful March day. Just the right amount of clouds dotted the sky and the large tree in the backyard gave the right amount of shade. She smiled as she swept the camera across the scene before her.

On the picnic table sat Eren and Levi. Eren bounced a little, blonde girl on his knee, while Levi pushed Hot Wheels around with a small, brown haired boy.

Grandkids were what took up most of their time these days, but Eren and Levi weren’t complaining. They immensely enjoyed looking after four year old Rose and three year old Bradley when their parents needed some time alone, or where on long business trips. Of course, secretly they just liked playing with the kiddy toys and spoiling the little tikes rotten, but that was best kept a secret from the world. Although, Carla had her suspicions when she watched her father’s enthusiastically dressing Barbie’s and zooming around toy cars.

There was a knock on the glass door that signaled Carla it was time.

“Alright, everybody get ready to sing!” She announced.

Kyle came out the door holding a cake; two lit candles making the number seventy stood on top.

“Happy birthday to you!” They all sang. “Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear…..Eren! Happy birthday to you!”

“And many more.” Levi added, placing a quick kiss on Eren’s very red cheek.

Rose jumped up from his lap. “Blow out the candles Gan’pa!”

“Cake! Cake!” Bradley chanted, hands clapping together quickly.

“He has to make a wish first.” Carla reminded.

The two troublemakers watched with serious faces as Eren’s expression became thoughtful. His actions became over exaggerated as he acted like the most perfect wish had come to mind. He closed his eyes tight shut before quickly blowing out the candles.

“What did you wish for?” Rose questioned. “Was it a pony?”

“If I tell you my wish won’t come true.” He poked her nose.

“He wants a wacecaw not a pony!” Bradley yelled.

“No he doesn’t!” Rose insisted.

“Does too!”

“Hey now. Enough of that. Who wants cake?” Levi interrupted.

“CAKE!” They both screeched, running over to tackle him.

________________________________

Later that evening after two sugar-rushed little monsters had been put to bed, the family adults sat around, glasses of wine in hand, and reminisced on the past. Kyle had just finished telling the story of Carla’s Jet Ski fail from the first vacation they took after they were married. That was back before the kids were born. Carla wasn’t too happy that everyone was laughing at her misfortune and the bruise she’d had for nearly a month thereafter.

“At least I had the balls to get on one.” She snapped.

“You mean Mr. Macho over here didn’t even get on one?” Levi asked, trying to contain his laughter.

“No! He chickened out on me!”

Another round of laughter ensued, this time with Kyle turning red.

“I don’t know…why you’re laughing, Eren. You’re the one…who chickened out on sky diving…when it was your idea…in the first place.” Levi said between laughs.

“That’s not what happened and you know it!”

“Really? Then what exactly happened?”

“Well, I distinctly remember…”

_______________________________

The sun was shining bright that day. Not a cloud in the sky as Eren bounced with excitement and anticipation in the passenger seat. It was their second anniversary and Levi had let him pick what they would do this year to celebrate. He had picked something exhilarating: sky diving! And now they were pulling into the air strip where the journey would begin.

They exited the car and Eren was grabbing Levi’s wrist to drag him over to the small group before he could even lock the doors.

Everything was explained in detail, from the gear to the safety precautions and procedures. Once the lecture was done the instructors helped them suit up and they all got on the plane. However, Eren had never actually been on a plane before. So, as it began to take off he felt his stomach lurch, his heart beat quicken, and a wave of very unsettling nausea sweep over him.

He visibly paled before turning a putrid shade of green. Levi and the instructor noticed that something was wrong. A bucket was grabbed from the front of the plane and placed between Eren’s legs just in the nick of time.

_________________________________

“I didn’t chicken out. I was too busy puking my guts out to go through with it.” Eren finished.

“That’s awful.” Carla exclaimed.

“He was fine once we landed.” Levi added. “I took him home anyway just to be safe.”

“I didn’t want to go home though!”

“We made the most of it didn’t we?” Levi wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“We are not discussing our love life in front of our daughter and her husband, Levi!”

“Seventy years old and still blushing. Glad to know I still affect you.”

“Levi!”

“Anyway…” Kyle shifted uncomfortably on the couch. “We aren’t gonna make it for Easter this year, what with us living in the south part of the state now. I only get one day off of work.”

“Nice subject change. We can come to you this year. Right, Levi?” Eren spoke up.

Levi had a far off look in his eyes, a small smile pulled at his lips.

“Because the last time we traveled at Easter worked out wonderfully.” He finally crooned.

Eren’s cheeks burned red, “We said we weren’t discussing our love life.”

“They’re both grown, Eren. I don’t see what difference it makes. I’m sure they have plenty of sexual adventures too and will have plenty more to come.” Kyle turned red.

“Levi! Look what you did to the poor boy! He’s bright red. This isn’t the time or the place to turn into an old pervert.”

“So reserved…what happened to the fun Eren I used to know?”

“He died from your embarrassing stories.”

“Well you can suffer through some more. We were headed to Colorado to visit some old friends for the holiday when the car stopped running…”

_____________________________

“Are we out of gas? I swear to God, Levi, if you tried to push it to the next stop again I am going to-” Eren was cut off.

“Calm down. We have half a tank. I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m not a mechanic.”

“Neither am I, but pop the hood anyway!” Eren demanded, huffing as he shoved the door open. “Can’t be too hard to figure it out.” He muttered.

Levi remained seated, watching Eren prop the hood up and disappear from view. There was a moment of peace before the car shook violently. _What the fuck is he doing?_ Levi thought. After a few more violent shakes Levi threw open his door.

What are you d—”

He didn’t finish his question because Eren was halfway under the hood, bent precariously across the hot engine, trying not to touch it, and Levi couldn’t help but find the angle of his hips and the arch of his back to be terribly arousing.

Eren looked at him with confused eyes. That’s when Levi took in their location.

It was a not-so major highway, not another vehicle in sight. There didn’t appear to be any nearby homes either. They were completely alone.

It was just him, Eren, and the massive boner he was now sporting.

Eren watched a smirk appear on Levi’s lips and he knew something was about to happen. He wasn’t sure he liked were this seemed to be heading.

“Levi…” He cautioned, “We are outside. No.”

“No one’s here though.”

“I said no, Levi.”

But Levi had already pressed himself against the back of the very vulnerable, bent over male.

“If you say no, whatever will I do about this new problem that is _far_ more important than the car?” Levi moved one of Eren’s hands to the bulge in his jeans.

“God Levi…” Eren squirmed, which didn’t help the situation at all.

“How can I change your mind?”

Eren felt the hot breath on his ear. A shiver went down his spine and a moan left his lips. Levi knew exactly what turned him on. His husband’s knowledge of this was both a curse and a blessing, because he was supposed to have that affect on him, he just used it at all the wrong times and places.

There where fingers ghosting over his sides now, and lips on his neck, sucking and nipping roughly as they descended toward the fabric of his shirt. It took everything he had not to slam the hood of the car down and let Levi take him on it. As kinky as that sounded, he wasn’t sure that’s what he wanted. Of course, all his will power gave out when one of Levi’s hands reached to palm him through his jeans. The friction just wasn’t enough.

In one swift movement he had bucked Levi off, slammed the car hood down, and was slamming his lips against Levi’s. It was a moment of absolute lust paired with Eren’s anger and frustration, as well as Levi’s desire.

Clothes were pulled off quickly and the evening chill hit their exposed bodies, but it only added to the sudden thrill of it all. Eren was propped onto the hood wondering why Levi had disappeared into the car, but as he returned he didn’t even bother to ask why Levi had a bottle of lube stashed in their car when he saw it in his hand.

Soon the air was filled with pants and moans and skin slapping skin. Levi’s name was called out a couple of times into the still air and suddenly it was over. Eren’s cum running off the hood of the car and Levi’s leaking down Eren’s thighs.

“God damn it, Levi. Now what?” Eren asked after he’d caught his breath.

Levi picked up his clothes, digging out the cell phone in the pocket of his jeans.

“Well…” He studied the screen. “We don’t have service, so I guess we wait till someone finds us.”

“I have no desire to be found like this.” Eren said as he grabbed the spare napkins from the car.

_______________________________

Eren looked mortified as Levi finished the story.

“We were a day late to our friend’s house after that pleasant inconvenience.”

Kyle had left the room earlier at the mentioning of Levi’s boner and it didn’t look like he planned on rejoining them.

“I should make sure he’s okay.” Carla said getting up. “And I think I’ll call it a night, so good night.”

They watched her leave. When she was out of sight Eren turned to Levi.

“You just traumatized the poor things.”

“They’re grown Eren and we’re supposed to be crazy, old men. It’s normal for us to rattle on about the past, especially what it was like in the sack.”

“Dear God…if I had known you’d turn into an old, pervy man I wouldn’t have ever gotten involved with you.”

“So you’re saying you’d have preferred your life to play out differently? Can you imagine that?”

Eren took a moment to think on those words…

_______________________________

Stuck on the streets of New York on his little piece of cardboard across from the coffee shop where puffs of steamy, white smoke rose from the stack on top.

Watching as all the people who where better off passed him by, not paying any attention to him at all as he suffered in silence.

What if he’d never gotten lost in those silvery grey eyes?

What if he’d never agreed to go into that coffee shop?

What if?

What if?

What if?

He takes the can from the grey eyed, black haired man with the soft Asian features.

“Would you like something?” He said.

Eren was confused and quite taken aback. Had he just offered to buy him food?

“Would you like something from the café?” He asked again.

He didn’t wish to take advantage of someone who seemed so nice. All he wanted was some spare change so as to save up and get it himself.

“No thank you.” But his stomach gave him away by rumbling loudly.

“I think you would like it very much. Come along.” He held out his hand to help him up.

“I said no thank you. But can you spare some change?”

“I just offered you a meal, and you turn it down for spare change?” The man cocked an eyebrow.

“Please stop asking questions. If you don’t have any change then please leave me to my thoughts and the cold.”

“Very well then.” He dug around in his pockets a moment before pulling out a few dollars and placing them in the can. “Have a nice evening.”

He watched as the well dressed man walked away, leaving him to his own devices. The street was empty now except for a few other homeless men and women. Snow began to fall from the sky. The sun finally dropped completely, the last bits of color draining from the sky, letting the true chill settle in. He could feel the ache in his bones as he packed up to move to his usual alley way for the night.

It was much colder than the radio outside the mall had said it would be, but he settled into his box anyway, thinking nothing of it. It was just another cold night. And it was that cold that cradled him as he fell into a deep slumber, albeit in a strange angle that would leave him cramped and aching later.

Late in the night his eyes shot open as he gasped for breath. The snow was still falling he noticed. The thing about the cold is that they never explain how terrible it is to freeze to death. Movies make it out like you just lull off to sleep where your body slows to a stop and you die peacefully in your slumber. But it’s nothing like that at all. Once you reach a certain point your body wakes up and screams for warmth.

That’s what Eren was experiencing now. His body was screaming at him to fix it. But he couldn’t. It was dark and cold and nowhere near him was open. The closest shelter was several blocks away, too far to make it before he shut down completely. He struggled to get there anyway. Trying to make his limbs move, to pull him to warmth.

He only made it to the alley’s edge. He felt his heart stop, his organs frozen in place along with the rest of him. He fell to the ground, eyes still open wide with shock as the life drained from him. And in that moment he was completely and totally alone, his body left to be covered in a light sheen of snow.

_____________________________

“No. Not at all. I’d be dead if it weren’t for you.” Eren nearly sobbed, finally exiting the dark place his mind had wandered off to.

“Eren…”

“I love you…so much.” Levi pulled him into his arms.

“I love you, too.” Eren played with Levi’s hair.

It was a perfect moment. Just them and the love they shared.

“We have to go home tomorrow.” Levi broke the silence.

“I know…I don’t want to leave, but at the same time I do. I want you all to myself again.”

“You know I’m all yours. That will never change.”

“I know. Do you remember the first time we…ya know…were intimate?”

“How could I forget?”

_______________________________

“Tell me now if this isn’t what you want.” He said.

“I want this.” Eren replied breathily, begging to be touched.

Levi obliged, wrapping his slim fingers around the firm length before him, eliciting satisfied moans from his guest. Eren stopped him, remembering what the whole purpose of this had been.

“I’m supposed to be doing this to you, not the other way around. You’ve helped me; this is my only way of showing my thanks right now.”

“Letting me do this is more than enough thanks, Eren. Just relax and enjoy yourself. I’ll find equal pleasure in it too. I promise.”

Eren leaned back, having been mostly reassured that this would make Levi more than happy. He felt slim fingers wrap around him once more, pumping slowly. His heart raced; it had been a long time since he had been held, touched in this way. It was much needed.

He gasped when something warm and wet touched his tip. He looked down to find Levi taking him into his mouth. The sight of it was erotic beyond belief. He let his hands move to Levi’s hair, grasping it tightly in his fists, not wanting to be too forceful, but wanting him to take all of him at the same time.

As if reading his mind, Levi took him further, eventually reaching the back of his throat. Eren couldn’t peel his eyes from the sight. He was eating this up. He could feel the pressure within him rising, his skin heating, body becoming over sensitive to the touch as the blood rushed about, his body heating up and turning him a light shade of pink. He was so close, so very, very close, and then Levi stopped, again.

He was beginning to wonder what game was being played here. But when Levi opened up the bedside table drawer to pull out a bottle of lube, he no longer needed to wonder, he knew. Levi sauntered back around to the foot of the bed, placing himself between Eren’s legs. He tugged the Eren’s body so his ass sat just on the edge, his legs dangling to the floor.

Eren watched as Levi slowly removed his pants, taking his boxers with them, in one swift, fluid motion. His eyes widened as they fell upon Levi’s erect member. He gulped a bit at the size, fearing it wouldn’t fit. Levi could see the look in his eyes and reassured him that he would stretch. He still wasn’t convinced, but continued to watch as Levi lubed up.

He tried not to think about it, laying his head back down and relaxing. He tensed and shivered though when he felt a cold liquid being applied to his hole. There was no doubting what that was. He looked back up at Levi, wondering why he still had on his shirt. He wanted to see him, to touch him. But as he reached up to do just that, his hand was harshly slapped away. A look of fear was hidden in Levi’s eyes.

Eren didn’t ask. Whatever it was that Levi hid, held more pain than he cared to talk about in that moment. Levi soon seemed unfazed though, continuing on with the task at hand.

“Relax.” Levi murmured.

Eren did his best to obey, breathes evening out, muscles going slack. It all happened so fast. Hardly had he felt the sharp pain of it when Levi had thrust into him for the third time. Relentless was the best way to describe Levi’s actions. He pounded away, taking in every cry that escaped Eren’s lips as though it was nothing more than sheer pleasure.

Eren was in pain. So long had it been since he had engaged in any sexual activity that his body had readjusted itself. But he stretched out, adjusting to the size of Levi as he pounded away, his cries became moans, which in turn became breathy pants for more. He begged Levi to go faster, harder. And Levi did just that, finally hitting that one spot, deep within him.

He cried out at the shock and ecstasy of the moment. Never did he want it to end; he wanted it to continue on, to forever be in the arms of this man. Levi slowed his thrusts, taking Eren in his hand once more, pumping in time with each motion of his hips. They were both close now, the pressure rising, building, threatening to explode.

They came together, crying out each other’s names. Eren was grasping the bed sheets tightly, trying to ride out his orgasm. Levi finished and collapsed to the floor, dragging Eren with him, and in turn the covers came as well. They lay there, coming down from their high, their moment of absolute bliss, bodies covered by the sheets that had fallen.

________________________________

“I don’t think I’ll forget either.” Eren said blushing.

“Someone’s getting excited.”

“Shut up…”

“Bashful now are we? There’s always the car.”

“Levi…please.”

“Please what?”

“You’ve got to stop with the old, pervy stuff. It’s scaring me.”

“You know you like it. Besides, I had to endure your weird sex joke, pick up line stage, so don’t even get mad at me.”

“You just had to bring that up again.”

“It happened so I _will_ use it against you.”

“Pervert.”

“You know you’re just as pervy as I am.”

“Really?”

“ _Oh yes_. Now come on, you need help with the problem in your pants.”

“Levi, no.”

“Eren, yes.” He grabbed his wrist and tugged.

Before Eren knew what was happening they were in the back seat of their car, clothes discarded in the front seats.

_______________________________

Eren panted, catching his breath after the exertion of sex in a fucking car, _again_. It wasn’t the best place they’d had sex, but it wasn’t the worst either. It was his birthday sex, but what difference did that make? At least it wasn’t like the interrupted blowjob at Levi’s office. Of course, the sex afterward had been amazing to say the least.

“Remember when we almost got caught in your office?”

“Why did you have to remind me, Eren?”

Eren gave a light laugh. “I certainly remember what followed.”

“I bet you do.”

________________________________

Eren waited impatiently in the bathroom. He glanced at his phone. Levi had said no more than an hour, but it was now going on three. Three fucking hours with a hard on that refused to go away, because his body was still expecting Levi to keep his word. He was starting to get hungry, too. He pressed an ear to the door and listened. It sounded like the conversation was still full swing with no chance of ending too soon.

If he got off now Levi would never know. He could be hard again by the time Levi was done, right? Surely it wasn’t that hard...to get hard. He snickered childishly at that thought. So without even thinking twice about it he let a hand slip down and push his pants back down to his ankles. His hard on sprung free and he hissed as quietly as he could. He gently wrapped his fingers around himself and began to pump, slowly at first then speeding up.

He was no longer conscious of the people in the office. He just needed to get off. He thought about Levi. Levi sucking him off; Levi fucking him; Levi kissing him and making him moan and pant and scream.

And then the door flew open.

“I told you not to touch yourself.” Levi hissed. “Looks like you need to be punished.”

Eren had frozen in place, hand still on his dick and mouth open wide. Levi stalked over to him and forced him to turn around, pulling his hands behind his back. He pulled the tie from his neck and wrapped it around Eren’s wrists, securing them tightly.

“I didn’t know you were into this shit.”

“I’m not, but I told you I would finish you off and _you_ got all impatient.”

“You said an hour. I’ve been in here for _three_.”

“Suck it up and deal with it.”

“Suck it up huh? I’ll suck it all right.” And with that Eren had spun around and dropped to his knees.

Levi watched as his fly was undone and pants removed only with pearly white teeth. His erection was free, but not for long as Eren quickly swallowed it whole. Levi gritted his teeth, threading his fingers into brown locks as Eren sucked hard.

“Fuck, Eren.”

Eren had a way of working his tongue just right, running it along the bottom of his shaft as he took him in deeper. Levi let his fingers thread into Eren’s brown locks and tugged so that his nose touched his hips. He heard Eren gag slightly and he let up so Eren could draw in a breath.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“Now stand up already. I’m gonna fuck you into next year.”

___________________________

“I don’t think you actually sent me into the next year though.”

“Shut up.”

“Let’s get back inside and go to bed.”

“That sounds like a good idea. I don’t want to wake up with a serious back ache. I got enough back problems as it is.”

The two pulled themselves from the tangled mess of limbs they were in and painstakingly pulled their clothes back on. Once they were covered up they slid back into the house and collapsed onto the guest room’s bed. They curled up in each other’s arms as they fell into slumber’s embrace.

____________________________

The next morning Levi and Eren bid their family goodbye, throwing their bags back into their car and heading home. The first part of the trip was quiet, the only sound being that of the engine and the whistle of the wind as it slipped in the cracked windows. This was soon joined by the sound of the radio that Eren had turned up.

He still found it hard to believe that the songs of his younger years where on the classic channels now. It seemed so strange. Of course, so did whatever the new music was supposed to be. It certainly didn’t sound like the rock he was familiar with even though it was placed under the same genre. As he listened to the rhythm softly play he glanced at Levi. Even though his eyes were on the road Eren couldn’t help but think he was really looking at something else.

______________________________

The sand was sprawled out before them, sun reflecting off the giant expanse of water. The sound of the waves as they washed onto the beach was relaxing, calming to his mind. Eren and Carla where building a sand castle in front of him. Smiles where plastered on their faces as the breeze whipped through their hair.

He didn’t understand why he was remembering this now. So many fond, good memories to choose from and his mind chose one of panic and fear. He could feel his heart rate increasing just thinking about it.

Eren was saying something to Carla and got up to see if Levi wanted to come help. For some reason his gaze strayed from his family to the empty expanse of beach. There was no one else there and it seemed strange. Such a nice summer day, but no one else had gone to the beach?

A few seconds, no more than thirty of them, had passed when Eren tapped him on the shoulder.

“You want to join us?” Levi’s eyes travelled to the sand castle by the shore.

It looked nice, but something was missing. He took in the scene trying to make it click. He saw the sand, the water, the small castle, the blue sky with the sun perched high in it…Carla. Where was Carla?

“Where’s Carla?” It was no more than a breathless whisper from his lips.

_“Where’s Carla?”_ Louder this time; loud enough that Eren was turning around in panic, searching desperately for the little girl who was there just moments before.

“ _Carla_!” The beach was empty save for them.

“ _Carla_!” The waves crashed against the shore, laughing at them, before pulling back like kidnapping arms.

Silence, not a single sound, but Levi knew where she was.

Eyes were trained on the water as he dove in, pressing further into the depths in a frantic search for his little girl who couldn’t swim yet. He had gone in without uttering a single word to Eren, who was still looking up and down the beach. His lungs burned as he surfaced for a split second.

Intake of air and back under, silently praying the current hadn’t gotten her. A bit further out, water getting deeper; she couldn’t drown in such shallow water, she just couldn’t. Then he saw her, hair fanned out as it floated in the water. She was in his arms in an instant. Her small, weightless body was lifted from the water as he struggled to get back to the beach.

It was all a blur now.

Sand was under his feet as he laid her down.

Head went to her chest to hear a faintly beating heart.

_CPR_ — the letters flashed through his mind like lightning.

Pinch her nose, mouth over her mouth, blow, release her nose and listen for breath.

_Repeat!_

Dear God please.

“Levi!” Eren had seen them now.

_Come on!_

“Levi!” It was a desperate cry.

_PLEASE!_

…

“Levi!” This time it sounded so close.

…

Three seconds.

…

Seven seconds.

…

Twelve seconds.

“Kwa.” A cough, spluttering water.

She’s alive. Dear God, she’s alive!

“ _LEVI!_ ” He blinked.

_________________________________

A car stared him down as he came back from his memories. He swerved just in time to avoid the head on collision, their car going back into the proper lane. His breathes were heavy as he slowed down, pulling to the side of the road.

“Are you okay Levi?” Eren asked, hands still desperately gripping the door handle.

“I…She almost died.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Carla…almost died, but I saved her.”

“Are you talking about what happened years ago? Levi that was, what? Thirty years ago, maybe more. She was seven. You saved her. Calm down.”

“I almost didn’t.”

“But you _did_. That’s what matters. Do you want me to drive?”

“If you don’t mind.”

They swapped places and Eren drove the rest of the way home. A short time later he pulled into the driveway. Levi headed toward the trunk.

“Don’t worry about the bags. We can get them later.” Eren spoke up. “Let’s get you inside.”

A long shower and two cups of tea later, Levi was back to normal. A few flirty remarks and suggestive looks had Eren curled up against him on the couch as they watched the sun set outside. Levi let his fingers run through brown locks, listening to the steady, content breathing of his significant other.

“I love you.” Eren mumbled as he snuggled closer.

“I love you, too.”

A comfortable silence settled on them for a moment.

“Hey, Levi?”

“Mhmm.”

“I know we did a lot of thinking and looking back over the last few days, but don’t let it get to you okay?”

“I just —” Eren put a finger on his lips.

“Don’t. We’re old okay? It happens to everyone. But we’ve had a good run. We don’t need to look back and regret.”

“You’re right. Why are you right?”

“Shut up.”

“Hmm.”

“Let’s just live in the moment from now on. No more major plans, just doing whatever, whenever. Sound good?”

“So if I want to make love to you in the middle of Wal-Mart you just want me to do it?” Levi gave him a look.

“Within reason, Levi.”

“So if I said I wanted to visit Japan?”

“Then we buy two tickets and go.”

“Okay…It’s settled then.”

“Wait…What’s settled?”

“We’re going to Japan.” He gave Eren a quick kiss.

“When?”

“How’s June sound?”

“I guess I’ll order the tickets then.”

“Good, because the last time I got on a website I couldn’t find anything to save my life. How stuff has changed.”

“You’re just an old man. That’s your problem.”

“If I recall correctly, you’re not much younger than me, so don’t give me any of that ‘old man’ crap.”

“ _Old man_.”

“Eren…”

“Old man, old man.” Eren started to sing.

“I’ll show you who’s an old man.” Levi lifted him up, with some trouble, and made a beeline for the bedroom.

“No. Levi, I’m all sexed out.”

“Now why’s that?”

“You know why!” He set Eren down on the bed and stared into his eyes.

“Enlighten me.”

“I don’t want to discuss this.”

“Well I do.”

“Please, no. It’s embarrassing.”

“Is it now? I’m curious; we only did it twice while we were gone.”

“Levi…”

“So how are you ‘sexed out’ as you put it?”

Eren blushed and looked away cowering into the bed’s pillows. Levi crawled toward him.

“Eren…Oh _Eren_.”

“Go away.” It was muffled by the pillows.

“What where you doing that would wear you out? Huh?”

An unintelligible reply came from the pillows.

“What was that?”

“Ijerkedoffinthebathroom,becauseyouwerebusyandIreallyneededit.” He rambled through the pillows.

“One more time, but slower and without pillows, so I can understand you.”

Eren flung himself out of the pillows. “God, Levi! I jerked off in the bathroom, because you where busy and I really needed it!”

“So testy. You don’t have to yell. Next time just pull me away from what I’m doing.”

“Seriously?”

“ _Seriously_.” Levi purred and it went straight to Eren’s groin, which didn’t go without notice from Levi. “For being so ‘sexed out’ someone sure is excited.”

Eren followed Levi’s gaze to where it rested on his crotch. He let out an irritated groan that turned into a pleasure filled moan as Levi palmed him, slowly rubbing him up and down through the fabric of his sweats.

“F-fuck, Levi.” His body reacted against his will.

“Relax. I’ll make it quick. I promise.”

“Make it sound a little more like you want to murder me why don’t cha?”

_____________________________

“Remind me why I agreed to go to Japan again?” Eren stared at the boarding gate two months later.

“You’ll be fine. Just a quick flight. It’ll be over before you know it.” Levi said reassuringly.

“What if it crashes? What if I get sick like that one time?”

“It’s not gonna crash. I’ll be right next to you the whole time. It’s fine.” Levi took his hand, rubbing gentle circles on his palm.

“I hate flying.”

“I know. You can go to sleep or something.”

“Easier said than done.”

“You’ll be fine; we’ll be fine. Everything will be fine.”

_“Now boarding flight 169 to Tokyo.”_ The loudspeaker boomed over the hustle and bustle of the airport.

“You coming?” Levi extended a hand, a gentle smile forming on his lips as Eren looked at him.

He hesitated, hand floating in the air. That smile; that beautifully, perfect smile. He had seen it so many times.

That smile, as a hand extends to help him from the cold ground when they first met.

That smile, as a silver ring is slid onto his finger.

That smile, as vows were exchanged and recited by memory.

That smile, as he picked up a little girl for the first time.

That smile, as he watched their daughter get married.

That smile, as grandchildren run into his arms for warm, snuggly hugs.

That smile, every morning and every night of every day since they met.

That smile, that forms on those perfect lips and takes all his worries away.

That smile, that he loved to see.

Levi noticed his hesitation and his smile was replaced by a worried frown. “Everything alright?”

Eren smiled. “Everything’s perfect.”

He placed a quick kiss on Levi’s lips before taking his hand and walking with him to the gate. But he stopped one last time. He looked back at all the faces, glanced out the window to the city in the distance, and said a silent prayer that he would see it all again soon.

“We’re gonna miss the flight, come on.” Levi tugged at his hand.

Eren turned to him once more and they departed for the next adventure of their eternity.


End file.
